109. The Importance of Fixing Your Relationship with the Scale

Have you ever felt like the scale is basically your worst enemy when it comes to your health and fitness??

I hear often from the ladies I work with that they’re either weighing themselves daily and are super fixated on the results, or they’re never stepping foot on the scale and want to steer clear of it all together. Either way, the scale still seems to control SO much of how we feel about ourselves and our overall health. This is something I've personally struggled with in the past, because the scale used to hold so much meaning for me too. Fortunately, I’m in a place now where I don’t dread stepping on the scale. It’s simply a metric for me to celebrate my body’s capacity for strength and transformation; the number staring back at me doesn’t dictate how I feel about myself, or my worth. 

While I do believe the scale can be very helpful and it is important to understand, it’s not the ‘be-all, end-all’ when it comes to your health and fitness. It IS possible to foster a healthy relationship with the scale - one that aligns with your fitness goals and your emotional well-being. No matter where you fall when it comes to the scale, I want you to be confident in yourself. You ARE worthy, regardless of what that number says!

In this episode, the importance of fixing your relationship with the scale, we cover:

• Deciding how often you’re going to weigh yourself + not letting it have a mental or emotional ‘hold’ over you
• Why having a positive relationship with the scale DOES matter
• My journey with the scale growing up + why so many of us are still negatively impacted by the scale as adults
• My experience using the Renpho smart scale
• Understanding that you can change your body drastically, within just a few pounds
• 5 key things that actually help my clients in regards to the number on the scale

The Renpho smart scale (mentioned in this episode)

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Welcome to the Un-Fuck-Your-Fitness Podcast. I am your host, Christy Castillo, and I'm here to give you real talk and cut the BS so you can actually enjoy building a body you love. I'm a personal trainer obsessed with giving you simple action steps to take you from feeling stuck to feeling sexy. Let's go. Hey guys, what's up? Welcome to today's episode.

Speaker 2: 0:35

We are going to talk today about your relationship with the scale. I have had different relationships with the scale myself and I have had different takes and different thoughts on my clients having a relationship with the scale, like whether or not they should weigh themselves daily, whether they should weigh themselves biweekly, weekly, monthly, right, whatever it looks like for that specific client. And I definitely do have different rules not rules, but different expectations or different what do I want to say? I definitely work with my clients on how they feel in regards to the scale. I do have some clients who hardly ever get on the scale because it's a very big trigger for them. I have clients who get on the scale every day and I have everywhere in between, and it's been really eye-opening for me as I have progressed in my coaching over the years me, as I have progressed in my coaching over the years. So I would say probably two years ago, it became very obvious to me that a lot of my clients were struggling with the scale, with that number, and it was holding so much meaning for them and it was really hard to watch. Honestly, I understand it, I get it, I've been there, I understand it. I'm not saying that I'm obviously not judging or anything like that, but it made me sad for them and it made me frustrated in the sense that I didn't really know how to help. And so I do think it's important to just kind of come out and say that you don't have to weigh every day, you don't have to weigh once a week, you don't. This is kind of just you know across the board I don't think especially new clients coming on to work with me I'm not going to say you have to start weighing yourself every day. I want you to get on this scale every day or once a week, or I'm not going to say that at all. We scale every day or once a week, or I'm not going to say that at all. We definitely talk about what is your relationship with the scale and how do you feel when you get on the scale, how much weight essentially does that hold in, how you feel about yourself, and we definitely work on those things as we go along.

Speaker 2: 2:57

But I've kind of had this shift over the years of really working toward and having the goal be for my clients to really improve their relationship with the scale and really really working with them toward being able to get on the scale as often as they want to and not feel as triggered and not feel the weight, mentally and emotionally, of that number. And I talked a little bit about this last week when I was talking about my own journey and how, these last few weeks and months, I have had a little struggle with the scale myself and every morning I was getting on the scale and seeing the same number and the same number and the same number and putting in so much work and the same number and I didn't let it have any control over me and that was not always the case for me. And the way that you have a better relationship with the scale is by building your confidence and we're going to talk about this a little bit later in the episode and by doing the things that you say you're going to do and focusing on different things. But I do want to just say that I think it is so important now. I think a couple years ago I would have just said go by the way you feel and go. You know if you have a pair of jeans you want to fit into and those things are still true in the beginning. But knowing what I know now and having coached women through this, so I know that it's possible. I really think it is so important that you have a good relationship with the scale, because that number does matter, and the fact that I would love everyone to have a healthy relationship with a scale. I'm not sure if that's reality, but that would be like my wish and that would be what I would want my clients to work toward, and that would be what I would want to help them work toward.

Speaker 2: 4:48

I think our relationship with the scale starts when we're younger. I can only speak for myself young female, right? I thought thinner was better. I thought smaller was better. I thought the smaller the number on the scale and the smaller the number on my jeans, my clothes, matters. I don't think that I necessarily really put a lot of thought into it. You know, at the end of the day, it didn't stress me out. I don't think. But let's be real. We do think a smaller number on the scale and a smaller number on our jeans is better, and as I got older, I had honestly never been really overweight, so I still thought that a certain weight, though, was good, and I tried to maintain that as I got married and as I moved through my body changing and, yeah, just as I've aged and I've tried to maintain that smaller weight for so many years.

Speaker 2: 5:43

Even earlier, in my Beachbody days, I tried to be smaller and skinny and tiny and lose weight and I weighed like a buck 20. It's crazy. I'm not much more weight now. I'm sitting at 10 pounds more than that now, but I'm definitely built different. I have more muscle. I'm built different. I have more muscle. My body is definitely physically different, even though I haven't put on a lot of weight.

Speaker 2: 6:14

But I think the younger generation is maybe getting better with this and maybe that's just because when I was younger, all I had to kind of compare was just the other girls at my school, the other girls I could physically see and on TV and magazines, of course, but we didn't have social media. Now maybe with social media, girls are seeing actual other normal girls and, yes, they're seeing a lot of bullshit and a lot of other things as well. But I will see sometimes what my daughter watches on TikTok and she's watching girls work out and a lot of them have healthy bodies. They're not skinny, they're not tiny, they're strong, and so I hope that, that I hope. I don't know. But I think that girls now teenage girls, whatever younger girls have the option and have the ability to see strong women now and I think that that's great. I didn't necessarily have that. So I think the younger generation is maybe getting better with this. Stronger is better going to the gym lifting weights.

Speaker 2: 7:15

But, based on my female clientele and the range from like 30 to 60 years old, some of you are so fixated on the scale still and I know that because I know a lot of women in that age range. That's me, I'm 42. I'm going to be 43 very soon, so I fall between that 30 to 60 age range and a lot of my friends, a lot of my clients, a lot of people I know are super fixated on the scale. A lot of DMs that I get are very weight-oriented and they're getting less because people now listen to the podcast and are like I, I want to be healthy and I want to. You know all the good things.

Speaker 2: 7:51

But again, I think this is generational. I think it's taught or witnessed or just kind of how we were raised. I don't know, and it's sad. As women, we are certainly urged to be a certain way. Again, I can only speak for myself and I am a woman, so certain women are called sexy and that alone makes us want to look like them. But what's to say that we aren't sexy the way we are? What's to say that they don't weigh? How much we weigh we don't know.

Speaker 2: 8:15

It can be a mindfuck, but anyway that's where it stems from, and sometimes it does take some work for my clients to really dig into the mentality of why are you so fixated on the scale? And it can be a lot of different reasons and it's not just across the board for everyone. I have clients who you know. People called me too fat, people called me too skinny or too small or weak, or my parents gave me certain rules around food, or I got too skinny and my parents would force feed me and then I was scared of food, so then I would throw it up. There are a lot of reasons that we have developed eating disorders or disordered thinking or disordered eating. And even growing up you're told you're not healthy or you're not big enough to play a sport, or you're too big to play a sport, sport or whatever it is right. You compare yourself to friends growing up. What makes someone popular or cool or pretty when you're in those formative ages, like I get it and there's a lot of stuff, there's a lot of shit, a lot of baggage that can be brought into this scale.

Speaker 2: 9:27

So I'm not saying that this is an easy process and you just need to get on the scale and get over it, because I know for some of us, for some of you, this can be very, very deep. But it's still important that you do it, because your weight does matter in terms of health. It just does. The SMART scale has been a game changer for me and my clients. I use the Renfro scale. There's so many SMART scales out there, but it has helped me see the breakdown and it gives you other things to focus on. You can focus on muscle gain, you can focus on lean mass and you have other goals to shoot for other than weight loss. Like I said, your weight does matter. Right, the scale is important because it gives us very valuable information.

Speaker 2: 10:16

Just because you don't get on the scale doesn't mean it all disappears. It doesn't mean you can just hide from the reality, like I don't want to get on the scale because I don't have a good relationship with it. That's fine for a while to acknowledge that, but then it's like how can I get better with the scale? How can I get a better mentality around the scale? How can I kind of figure this out? I don't want you to just say I'm never going to get on the scale because I can't. You know, I don't like it, it triggers me, or I don't have a good relationship with the scale. Well, that's fine to acknowledge that, but then what are we going to do going forward?

Speaker 2: 10:49

Right, the scale is a measure of your weight. Your weight is important to your health period and not only your overall weight but the breakdown. Right? If you have too much fat weight on your body, your organs struggle. We can't deny that. There's a number that is representative of your health, based on your age and your height and your weight. You do need a certain amount of muscle mass to protect your bones, to protect your body. You do need to not have over a certain amount of fat on your body for health purposes. So it's more than just I think I'm getting fat or I've gained weight and I can't look at the number on the scale or it defines me and I don't feel like I'm worthy if I'm over a certain amount, because maybe my parents always said you're getting a little chubby when you get to a certain amount, and that has stuck with you.

Speaker 2: 11:46

It's fine to have reasons why you can't get on the scale and I've heard so many of them, and it's fine, and we fine to have reasons why you can't get on the scale and I've heard so many of them, and it's fine, and we have to acknowledge that that is the reality and that is the why. Right, it's like one of those things like you can't control what happens to you, but you have to control how you respond, going forward and how you change it. This is the same thing. You can't just not get on the scale because it's a trigger for you and you see it and it affects you, but then you don't get on the scale, so you don't know what your weight is and you don't know how healthy or unhealthy you are. That alone is not healthy. So there's not just one way to get a better relationship with the scale. You really do have to work at it.

Speaker 2: 12:33

One thing that did help, like I said, me and a lot of my clients is the smart scale, because it does measure different things. It gives my clients something else to focus on and almost all of my one-on-one clients have the smart scale right now and it's so great. They can see that the workouts that they're doing are helping them put on muscle. They can see that the macros that they're hitting are helping them lose fat and they're seeing these wins. They're seeing their lean muscle mass. They're seeing their metabolic age, they're seeing their skeletal muscle like all these little changes that really contribute to your overall health. They're seeing those numbers change and, yes, the overall weight number is changing as well. But it's these little things that have really helped them. Take the focus off of that big main number, right, and just break it down into these little other numbers that are really helpful. Something else that's really helped me, and my clients as well, is knowing that you can change your body drastically within a few pounds Building muscle and losing fat, body recomposition yes, it can take a while, but that's not an excuse to not do it.

Speaker 2: 13:37

You can't just say I'm not going to focus on building muscle and losing fat because it takes a long time. I would rather just restrict myself and lose the weight. Well, that's stupid, quite frankly. Because you need muscle, you don't need that much fat, right. It doesn't change the fact that you're still unhealthy just because you lost a little bit of weight. You could have lost all water. You could have lost all muscle to lose that weight. That's not good.

Speaker 2: 14:06

So what's important is your health. You have to move past that number on the scale and, yeah, no, seriously, this might take some really hard work. You might have to get a therapist and say, hey, I'm here because I have so much trauma or whatever around the number on the scale and I know that's not healthy and I need to dive into these issues because I get it. There could be some serious reasons, or it could just be you don't understand the journey on how to do that right, it could just be that you've wanted to lose weight for so long now that you keep losing it and gaining it and losing it and gaining it. Your body doesn't trust you. You get on the skill. You see the number. You've starved yourself for three days. You look at the number and it's gone up and you're like what the right? It's hard to wrap your head around that number when you don't know if you're even taking the right steps. So the scale is only a number, but it is an important number and we can't discredit that. As far as your health, the number on the scale does matter.

Speaker 2: 15:06

So a couple of things specifically that helps my clients with this is having a coach, a teacher, right? Someone to explain this is these are the numbers that make up that overall number for you. You have this amount of muscle, you have this amount of fat, this amount of bone mass. Right, like, this is the makeup of your body and this is how we're going to change it. What are your goals? This is exactly how we're going to change that, and I can walk them through that when they're like okay, I did X, y and Z for a week and I didn't see the progress. We talked about this last week as well. I'm like keep going, I know you're doing the right thing, keep going, I know you're doing the right thing, keep going. Right, if they're doing the wrong thing, then I'm going to say, okay, this is why that happened. We need to change X, y and Z, but having someone there is helpful, because otherwise it's like a shot in the dark. They don't know what they're doing. So having that support and the teaching and the knowledge that comes with it is really, really helpful.

Speaker 2: 16:03

Number two is having a plan when I can tell my clients okay, this is your water goal, this is your step goal, here's your workouts. Hit these macros pretty close to Do that for six weeks. That's the plan. It's not like, oh, I'm going to cut out bread and I'm going to start going to the gym, but what are you going to do when you get to the gym and what are you going to do when you start craving bread? Right, having a plan that I know is going to work for them and they know is going to work for them is very, very helpful.

Speaker 2: 16:35

Number three is having those other goals to focus on. If I'm encouraging them to really up their muscle mass right, like we want to up your muscle mass 2% in the next few weeks, really lift heavy. And I want you to really crush your workouts and hit your protein, because that's going to help you. That's awesome. It takes the focus off of the weight, like the weight loss, and helps them focus on muscle gain, and that's great because a lot of times with muscle gain comes fat loss, so it comes at the same time, but they're not so stressed out every single day looking at that main number. They're looking at the muscle mass and it's going up and it's creeping up and it's creeping up and they're very happy. It gives them something else to focus on.

Speaker 2: 17:17

Number four is having realistic goals. Quite frankly, if you're just like I, want to drop 30 pounds in a month, that's not going to happen. So helping my clients set realistic goals is helpful. And if I'm just straight up honest, with eight weeks together, or we have 12 weeks together or we have six months together, this is what realistically you can hit, because we're going to need to reverse diet you for eight weeks and then we're going to need to cut you for eight weeks and then we're going to reverse diet you again so that you're up to a realistic maintenance calorie. And then I can show them the plan and the path. But I can say in you know, in six months, here's where you should be based on your goals, based on what I know you can do, but the steps that have to be taken to get there. It has to be realistic. So that's very helpful.

Speaker 2: 18:09

And then, number five, setting up habits to get them to the outcome they want. If they come to me with realistic goals and I give them a plan, but we still don't like know when are you gonna prep your food? When are you gonna work out Like, when are we gonna actually do these things and what are some habits that you're doing now that aren't serving you that we can get rid of, and here are the ones we're gonna replace them with? And then also that becomes a focus, like having other goals to focus on the other numbers, but also focusing on these habits Every single day. I need you to hit your water goal Every single day. I need you to walk 10,000 steps Three days a week. I need you to lift weights Every single day. I need you to hit your protein goal. These are the non-negotiables and if they do that and they're focused on those habits, they're going to get to where they want. So it really helps my clients. Those five things are really key in helping my clients and would be very helpful for you to be better about the number on the scale, because the number on the scale will move in the direction you want it to if you're doing the right things.

Speaker 2: 19:16

But you have to know what the right things are and a lot of times that comes down to just trusting someone to help you, being vulnerable and saying, hey, I am really struggling with this and I really, I really need help. I really need to lose some weight, or I really really want to lose some weight. I want to do it a healthy way. I want to do it in a sustainable way. I trust you. What is this going to take? Right, it might take a year, but I'm ready Like I'm just ready to do this.

Speaker 2: 19:45

So also, part of the reason you're so frustrated with that number sometimes is because it's your only focus, and so when you are focused on being healthier and doing this long term and making it sustainable, that helps too. You're not just focused every single day on weight loss, weight loss. Weight loss, because so many other things are important. Right, focus on the right macros. Focus on workouts. Focus on your mental health. Why do you feel so deeply about the scale? Anyway, focus on your mental health and that confidence and that overall number on the scale. It won't hold so much meaning. Again, I don't want to discredit the fact that it does hold a lot of meaning for some people and it really is triggering and it really is hard and it can really get you down on yourself. I've seen it firsthand and it's so sad, but I get it. But the only thing that I really wish for you in that sense is that you find the right person to work with or you find the right tools when you're ready to dig into that, because not only does it help you, it helps your family. If you have kids, it helps your kids, it will help their kids right, it really has so much bearing on your health and your livelihood and it's really, really important.

Speaker 2: 20:57

I'm not the kind of coach to just sit here and say that you don't ever have to fix your relationship with a scale. You don't ever have to step on the scale. That would be very irresponsible for me to say that, because your weight does matter. It doesn't matter in terms of your worth. I don't want it to ruin your day, but it really does matter. It really really does. So I wanted to just kind of talk about that the importance of fixing your relationship with the scale, the importance of really focusing on the scale in a different way as far as how can I get healthier and what does my weight actually mean? Right, what's the breakdown of this number that I look at? What does that mean? And how is that related to what I ate yesterday? How is that related to my workouts? And that way it doesn't have so much bearing on your worth, because it has nothing to do with your worth. It's literally just the amount of weight your gravitational pull on the earth and that's it. So we give it a lot more meaning sometimes than we should, but also it is very, very important.

Speaker 2: 21:56

So I just wanted to talk about this because it's something that I come across a lot with my clients as far as when they should weigh in and their relationship with the scale and how I feel about that. My ladies are always like are you going to make me weigh in all the time? Are you going to make me send you my numbers? And no, the answer is absolutely not, and some of my clients don't even start doing that until the end of our three to six months together.

Speaker 2: 22:21

I would never make a client do something they're uncomfortable with.

Speaker 2: 22:26

I would just talk them through the process as we go along, right, like let's focus on your body fat percentage, let's focus on your muscle mass, and maybe they weigh once when they first come to me and they weigh once when they leave me and we see what the progress is.

Speaker 2: 22:41

I would never make someone do something they're not comfortable with. But I do want to say that it is really important that eventually in your journey, when you're ready, that you start working on your relationship with the skill, because overall we're talking about health and that can be mental, emotional and it really does have an effect and, honestly, when you're not so worried about the scale, you tend to do the shit that you need to do. That's how it worked in my life when I started working on being stronger and when I started working on hitting my macros and like fueling my body, I started to realize that, like I said last week, I hit a high number on the scale and I was like I'm healthy, so that's fine and that's progress. It took me a long time to get there, but that's what I wish for all of you. So I hope you enjoyed this episode. I can't wait to talk to you next week.

Speaker 1: 23:32

Thanks for listening to today's show. Go ahead and leave a rating and a review and, of course, follow the podcast so you don't miss out on any future episodes. And I would love it so much if you came to connect with me over on Instagram at Christy Castillo Fit. I will see you next time. Bye.