The Unf*ck Your Fitness Podcast

104. No One Is Coming To Save You...

β€’ Kristy Castillo β€’ Season 1 β€’ Episode 104

This episode is full of tough love and truth bombs!

I think you will really enjoy and appreciate my thoughts on this topic "No one is coming to save you." You will walk away feeling motivated!

You have to take control. That is a scary thing to hear when you don't know what steps to take and don't have the confidence it takes to get sh*t done. I know, I've been there.

I get real about the consequences of the broken promises we make to ourselves and how they silently chip away at our self-confidence. Constantly saying you are going to get up early to workout, and then getting up early to workout, is killing your confidence. It's damaging your self -trust. So let's re-build it!

This episode isn't just fitness talk – it's a life lesson in taking ownership, whether that's your workouts, your diet, your relationships or your bank account.

This episode offers you a wake up call and a road map on the steps you can take to gain that self trust and confidence back! 


πŸ‘š Kristy Castillo Fit MERCH is available now!

πŸ’ͺ🏽 How to work with me:
FIT CLUB is a monthly membership with workouts designed to take the guesswork out of your fitness routine and get you the body you want. These workouts can be done at home or at the gym.

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πŸ’πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ Where to find me:
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I appreciate all of your support!

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Unfuck your Fitness podcast. I am your host, Christy Castillo, and I'm here to give you real talk and cut the BS so you can actually enjoy building a body you love. I'm a personal trainer obsessed with giving you simple action steps to take you from feeling stuck to feeling sexy. Let's go. Hey guys, what's up? Welcome?

Speaker 2:

to today's episode. I'm excited about this one because I mean it no one is coming to save you is a pretty cool topic. If you ask me, you can probably just imagine some of the things that are going to be flying out of my mouth today. But I'm really excited about this one because it's like real talk and you guys love that. From a few weeks ago, the episode of this shit is not optional. I've gotten so many messages. My husband actually texts me. One day was like you need to put this shit is not optional on a shirt, and then actually earlier today someone mentioned that in a comment on Instagram and I've gotten a few other comments about it actually today because I posted my Christy Castillo fit merch sweatshirts on Instagram and so I'm just kind of getting these ideas. But you really like the real talk. You really like the quotes of sass that I can just kind of throw sometimes and I'll be honest, I don't even mean to throw them that way. I mean my husband's time times will be like I should write a book of all the quotes that you probably all the ridiculous things that you say is what he's thinking. But yeah, sometimes these things just come out and I think this is going to be one of those episodes. So I'm really excited about the topic. But first I do want to mention that I've not talked about it here on the podcast, but this week I did launch some Christy Castillo fit merch I don't that word's kind of weird to me, but a couple of sweatshirts for my clients who are Christy Castillo fit clients, of course, and they, you guys, are loving them. I love them. They're super cute.

Speaker 2:

By the time this episode comes out, the first launch, like the first orders, will already be in kind of a little trial run. They are still available. They're going to be available for the longevity and we're also coming up with some unfuck your fitness merch. Unfuck your fitness podcast merch. No one is coming to save you. Might be a quote we use. This shit is not optional. Might be a quote we use. Who knows like, throw me some different quotes, shoot me a DM and tell me some of the things that I've said that you remember. But I'm really excited to get that. I don't even want to say like part of the business, because it's not. It is part of the business, but it sounds weird to say that. But I'm excited to be extending things into Christy Castillo, fit logos and shirts and we're going to have different items. I'm not going to spill it all right now, but I appreciate all of you who have purchased and like, are just thinking that this is as freaking cool as I'm thinking, and I also want to give a heartfelt thank you to all of you.

Speaker 2:

I got the sweetest message from one of my clients. Not going to say her name, but you'll know who you are. She sent me the sweetest message a couple of days ago and actually sent me in the DMs. She prayed for me with me out loud in my DMs and it was like so beautiful for one that someone would take the time to do that. But she said a couple of things that were like you, you know, she's like we know so much about, like I know so much about you, christy, that like I feel like we're friends, which of course we are, and that's the point. But it was just so sweet that she's just like I feel you know the need and I feel like I'm being pulled to pray for you and pray with you, and it was truly beautiful in so many different ways.

Speaker 2:

But, moving on from that particular instance, I get messages all the time, like I talked about on here how I'm going through perimenopause, or that my daughter's leaving for college, possibly when she's graduating, and we're venturing into that whole different thing and like just life right, and you reach out to me with the sweetest messages of like my daughter went to college two years ago and it was the hardest time of my life and it's okay to be like so afraid and so, you know, unsure and like this time just reassuring me that this time in my life is absolutely fucking bonkers. So if I'm ever questioning myself, you kind of give me that permission to be like this is normal, christy. So I want to give the sincerest thank you to you, because I I don't think of this podcast as me pouring myself out into you and like encouraging you. I know that's what it is and that's why I do it, but I don't, I just don't think of it that way. But for you to say, you know, christy, you give so much of yourself to us and you do pour into us and you encourage us and all of the things, and for someone to take time out of their day to encourage me, whether it be about my life or my business or my daughter or things with my son. He just tours MCL, so we're going through things with that, or whether it be perimenopause, whether it be whether it be just a message like hey, I just, you know, woke up and you were on my mind today. I hope you have the best day. Like it's just crazy to me, like you have no idea how much all of that means to me, I cry. And the second I start to read something like that or like you've changed my life or I'm getting stronger, like probably the silliest things. People would think they're so silly. I just cry because I'm so thankful for this. But I just never thought that I would get to this place where I'm meeting so many people and like affecting people's lives. It blows my mind. So, thank you. I digress, but I really really mean that. Thank you, thank you. Thank you Also along the lines of thank you if it would also mean the world to me, if you could go into Spotify or Apple and rate and review if that's an option on the platform that you were listening to this podcast.

Speaker 2:

Give me a five star rating because, god damn it, I'm worth a five star rating, and give me a review, an honest review, and I would appreciate that it really does help the podcast itself and I love reading them, and so if you could just take like literally 30 seconds and tell me something, give me something there, that would be. That would also mean the world to me. So let's dive into this episode. No one is coming to save you. Let's go. What does that mean? No one is coming to save you. Essentially, that means if you want something done you've heard it before, I'm sure If you want something done, right, you have to do it yourself. You're going to have to do this yourself and you know that because and this goes for when I say you're going to have to do this yourself means pretty much anything. Yes, you have support and yes, you have people in your corner and yes, you have resources and things right, you're not in it alone, but you do have to do things yourself.

Speaker 2:

Have you ever relied on someone and then let down? Of course you have friend, government, a coach, a doctor, um, covid, hello, even yourself, honestly, like, of course, you've relied on someone or something. Your car, let you down, breaks down in the middle of going somewhere important. Okay, so humans mess up, right. Things mess up, things break down. It's pretty normal, I guess, but the one person you should be able to count on is yourself. And so when I first started thinking about this topic I it was a couple of days ago and I don't even remember the context, honestly, but it just popped in my head and I opened my notes section and I have a podcast folder and I typed it in there in all caps and made it like subheading to make it bold, and I was like no one is coming to save you, and so I I stewed on it for a while and it it comes from a place of I I don't like to use the word hate, so maybe I won't.

Speaker 2:

I strongly dislike excuses. I don't like laziness. I don't like when people and I'm not talking about lazy, like taking a break or taking a day off or things like that from your workouts, in a sense and I'm not talking about excuses in the sense of I had the craziest week and my kids were sick and I had, you know, a million things to do in this work project and I'm not talking about like a crazy week, I'm talking about the excuses. And we all know the difference between I had a really busy week this week and I freaking couldn't do anything and everything fell apart. I get it. I get it. I've had busy weeks and those are reasons why my fitness has taken a seat, a backseat, right. But that's different than like, oh, I just want to eat more Cadbury eggs and I don't want to eat a salad, or I'm too busy to work out today, when in reality, if I wrote down all the things I did that day, I had plenty of fucking time to work out. So there's a difference between reasons and excuses and arrest day and resting and being lazy.

Speaker 2:

I don't like lazy people. I don't like people that make excuses. Okay, I don't. It's not that I don't like the person when I say I don't like lazy people, it's. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2:

Anyway, I've always kind of been like that. Someone would give me a reason to why I don't know I would be in band and I'm I was first chair flute. This is like a long fucking time ago. I would be, you know, first chair flute and the other flutists, would you know, give me a reason why they couldn't ever be, or whatever. Or I was running cross country and people would give excuses why they couldn't finish or they could never push hard, or not.

Speaker 2:

I'm not saying that I'm perfect, I'm just giving you examples through life, or when I'm doing a fitness program, like people are like oh, it must be nice to have so much time in the day, like I just have to work all the time and must be nice to have energy. I, you know, don't have energy because I'm so busy or I just can't sleep right, or I don't know. I'm trying to think of other excuses, but what I'm trying to say is I don't. I've never liked that. I would always just kind of look at someone like are you talking about? Like work harder, like figure it out, I don't know why. Are you making excuses for yourself? I did. I don't like that. But back to what I was saying the one person you should be able to count on is yourself. No one's coming to save you, so you have to do this yourself. But you have to be able to count on yourself.

Speaker 2:

And when we lie to ourselves, when we break promises to ourselves, when we treat ourselves badly, that shit adds up. If you lie to your best friend and if you break promises to your best friend and you treat your best friend badly, eventually that person doesn't like or trust you. You are the same way, if you say every single morning, I'm going to get up at five, I'm going to get up at five, I'm going to get up at five. You never do. If I keep saying I'm going to eat a salad for lunch, I'm going to eat salad, I'm going to hit my macros, I'm going to go for a walk, and I never do, then of course I'm like God, I suck at this. I keep saying I'm going to do this, then I don't. That's like now. I feel like I'm a loser.

Speaker 2:

I've been lying to myself.

Speaker 2:

I know damn well when I'm going to bed and saying I'm going to get up at five, I'm not doing that. So why am I even saying it? My body, my brain, starts to react in a way. That's like everything you say you're going to do, you don't do. So you're not who you say you are. You can't trust yourself.

Speaker 2:

And here we are. So now we can't count on other people, right? Because no one's coming to save us, and if we don't have the tools to save ourselves, we're screwed. So this is why it's so important to be able to save yourself, to be able to trust yourself, to be able to put the work in, because when you keep lying to yourself. It breaks your confidence down and then your body doesn't trust you and you don't trust yourself. Therefore, no one else is going to trust you.

Speaker 2:

So the truth is your body is your responsibility, your health is your responsibility, your money is your responsibility. You, your life, is your responsibility. No one's coming to save you. Don't rely on your doctors to give you the exact diagnosis to the exact medication, to the exact body part that's failing. You need to put in a little work too. Don't put all your reliance on the government to save you and take care of you when you're older and protect you, because hopefully, we're all on the same page. That can't protect us from everything. We have to stop making excuses and really put in the work and look inside of like okay, I have got to be able to trust myself and I've learned this the last few years, if anything. Number one.

Speaker 2:

So that mindset of like, those excuses and things, that's not doing yourself any favor. You can't learn to trust yourself and take care of yourself if you're lying to yourself and saying I'm too busy or I'm too broke or I'm too, whatever you're saying literally, if you're like I know, I'm too lazy to work out, or I don't even. I don't even want to work out. But inside you're like, no, I do. Like I do want to work out, I do want to be the kind of person that goes to the gym and eats healthy and looks like a badass and has muscles. But I keep saying to everyone like no, I don't care. Like I like to be overweight, I like to eat my hamburgers, I like to be. You know, whatever it is that you're saying, like, acting, like it doesn't bother you, those are lies too.

Speaker 2:

So whether you're saying I don't have time to work out or you're saying no, I'm not really that kind of person who works out, but like, deep down, you should be. You know, you should be doing better. You should be at least walking and watching your weight and maybe not drinking as much alcohol or whatever. Right, you know better. It's like you're just saying these things and then it's like it's a mismatch, right? So when people say, like it must be nice to have time to work out, I'm too busy, like no, you're not. In reality, you're not because like what are you out doing that you're too busy to go to the gym for an hour a day, probably things that people are at the gym could also be doing, but they're not because they're prioritizing themselves because they said I'm going to start going to the gym One day. They said I'm going to start going to the gym, and they fucking did it, unlike someone else who's like I'm going to start going to the gym, and they fucking didn't do it.

Speaker 2:

So don't look at other people and say like, wow, I wish they had what they had, or I'm. You know, that person's so lucky, or that person's so rich, or that person's so whatever. That person has so much time Like that's. That mindset has to change. We have to actually stop looking at other people and comparing, or even looking at other people and judging. If you're going to look at someone, it needs to be as inspiration, like, wow, that person is really fricking busy.

Speaker 2:

When you look at someone's life, I don't care who they are. If you look at someone's life and you're like you, or maybe go ask them like hey, what does your day look like, dude? How are you at the gym every single day? How are you here for an hour and a half? Do you not have anything else to do? Like, walk me through your daily schedule. I guarantee you they're not, they don't have as much time as you think they do. They make the time. So if you're going to look at someone, look at them through that lens and maybe you think like, oh, they have all this free time. Go with the fat, lean on the fact that they probably don't have all the time in the world. They just made better use of their time.

Speaker 2:

And look at it like that, like how can I figure out how to get myself to the gym for an hour a day, right? How can I figure out how to have the things that I want? Because I used to look at other people and think, wow, it must be nice to go on vacations. It must be nice to have time to go for a walk every day. It must be nice to whatever Like there's a million different things that I could come up with to say it must be nice and what? It came from a place of scarcity and jealousy and stupidity, really for me to look at someone and be like, oh my gosh, they're so rich. Look at them, they're so rich. Well, they probably worked their asses off to get rich and I didn't. I probably knew that, I probably just was so jealous, right?

Speaker 2:

Or look at that person's body. Wow, she has a killer body. She probably faked her way to it. She probably has a full-time chef. She probably has a home gym. Those are probably things that I thought like now I have a home gym, and like what, now I still have to use it. So, anyway, what I'm saying is I have been there, so this. I'm saying all of this through exact truth of like.

Speaker 2:

Eventually, the truth is your body. It all is actually your responsibility, and that's how, when you start to take responsibility for yourself, you don't actually need anyone to come save you, because you can do it yourself. But to be able to do that, you have to take responsibility. So look at the current state of yourself. This might piss some people off, but here we are.

Speaker 2:

If you are overweight, your fault. If you are weak, you're skinny, fat. If you have no muscle at all, right, you're just not strong. You're like, wow, I am really freaking weak and tiny and whatever your fault. If you are broke, you have no money, your fault. Been there, been all, been all these places.

Speaker 2:

If you are a doormat for others, other people treat you like shit. They walk all over you. You're like man I do everything for everybody and nobody does anything for me. Your fault. Set some boundaries. Look at the current state of yourself. Break yourself down. What are some areas that you want to improve in? Look at why you're sucking at those areas right now, not to really judge yourself, but to be like okay, if I'm overweight, I can't blame anyone. If I'm not strong because I don't have any time to go to the gym, I can't blame anyone If I spend all my money on things I don't need, so I'm broke and can hardly pay my bills. Or I can't afford a trainer, I can't afford a gym membership, or I can't afford the car that I want that I make fun of other people for having because I'm jealous, that's my fault. If other people walk all over me and if I spend so much time doing things for other people and I don't feel like, not that it's not benefiting me. But yeah, really, if my friendships aren't benefiting me, that's my fault.

Speaker 2:

So take a really hard look at yourself and take responsibility and I'm not blaming you necessarily, like I want you to take that in a kind of a harsh way, because that's really what we need to do is to take responsibility for it and change the things that got us here? Can you love yourself when you're overweight? Absolutely. Are you amazing when you're not strong? Absolutely. Are you ever broke? As a joke? Are you still worthy? Are you still amazing? Yes, absolutely Right. Like. You're still great. You're an amazing human being and you can still love yourself in the current state of being like I need to change. Wow, you can still love yourself there, but take responsibility and be like no, this is my fault and I can change it. Actually, it's really not that hard once you figure out how to do it, but I have to do it Right. I don't know if you don't know what to do to get out of this state or if you don't trust yourself to get out of this state, but you have to do it anyway.

Speaker 2:

Just because something is hard doesn't mean you get a free pass. Let me say that again. Just because something is hard to do, just because it's hard, doesn't mean you get a free pass. Just because I'm tired, just because I'm broke, just because I'm overweight and it's going to take a long time, just because I have autoimmune issues and this stuff's harder for me, it doesn't mean that I get a free pass and I can just lay around and sulk in my pity and blame the doctors for not figuring out what's wrong with me, or blame the food I eat or anything. Anything that's happened to me has been my responsibility and I've had to work through that. So just because something is hard doesn't mean you get a free pass. This shit still applies to you. You're in control. You have to save yourself and you have to do it yourself.

Speaker 2:

Now, when I was in the depths of depression not all that long ago, I thought I would never get out of it, and you may have been here as well, because I know a lot of people. When I talked about depression a lot when I was kind of going through it and coming out of it, I used to talk about it more on my Instagram page and I got a lot of messages from possibly you about it, because a lot of us struggle with anxiety and depression and a lot of us don't talk about it and we need to. But when I was in the depths of depression, I thought I would never get out of it and before I had kind of entered this really depressed state, I was out of control and not taking responsibility for one. Before that, I was someone who was like I totally trusted myself, like I knew I was a badass, I could do things, like I was totally in my power, kind of got out of control and like didn't take responsibility for my actions, didn't take responsibility for my body, like you know things kind of spiral. But when I was in the depths of depression I thought I'd never get out of it. And that's depression you don't see a way out. And the reality was that I knew that I was the only one that could get myself out of my depression and I also knew fully well that I was not strong enough or capable of getting myself out of depression.

Speaker 2:

If there's something that will keep you stuck in a cycle of depression, anxiety, it's being depressed and knowing that no one can get you out of this state but you, and also knowing that you can't get yourself out of this state. This can kind of relate to being overweight. If you're overweight and you're stuck and you're like I'm the only one that can lose this 50 pounds, but I don't know how, I don't think I can do it, so I'm stuck here, right, same thing with being broke, same thing with anything. You are the one that has to pull yourself up and you don't know how and you're not strong enough or you don't have the tools right. I knew when I was depressed that I had support. But at the end of the day, my support system, those people who loved me, cared about me, were helping me and talking to me. They couldn't pick me up, they couldn't do the actions needed to get me out of that depressed state that was on me.

Speaker 2:

And when you are depressed XYZ enter anything when you are stuck, and I'm just going to say depressed, when you are stuck in that depression, I knew it was me that had to get myself out of it and I had no idea how to do that. And there were days that I didn't do shit about it. And there were days that I would do a little thing, you know, kind of here and there. And I actually saw a reel today. It was an older one Shoot. I cannot remember the page that I the account that I saw it on. It's a therapist that I really like and trust, but she was saying that when you are in a depressed state, you need to keep doing these little tiny things because they add up and that's so true.

Speaker 2:

Every day I would get out of bed. It was like a little checkmark. Every day I would go to therapy a little checkmark Every day. I went to the garage to work out and maybe I just cried through my whole workout. It was like a little checkmark. Every time I would do some gua sha or wash my face or give myself a little like paint my toenails right, like some physical self-love, like that a little checkmark. And I had no idea at the time that those things would add up Like that's not really why I was doing it. Honestly, I just am the type of person that's not gonna just roll over and take it Like I said in a couple episodes back to you like you can't do that. But there were a lot of days that I would call on my support system. I would have friends that I would be like I'm really struggling today, like I have been crying and crying and crying, and they'd be like that's okay, you like cry, but then get up, move out of it, let's go Like you've got to do something, you know Anything to get myself moving, and maybe I would only get myself moving for five minutes and then I'd go right back into that state.

Speaker 2:

So what I'm saying is when you're trying to get fit when you are trying to count macros, when you are trying to start working out, when you are trying to drink water even one of those things not when you're trying to do all of those things right. So when you are trying to start working out, let's say you have this goal of five workouts a week to work out. Maybe the first week you hit five. The next week you hit three and you're like, oh my God, I thought I said I was gonna hit five. I'm not very good at this. No, it's still a win. You still showed up, check the box. Maybe the next week is even worse and you only hit two workouts and you're like, wow, I really cannot do this. I said I was gonna stick to five and then I did three and then I did two. No, like, look at it as the opposite, like you are taking steps better than it was a couple of weeks ago. Maybe the next week then you hit five. You're having a really good week. The next week, maybe you hit another five and another five. And then you hit like one and you're like, oh, okay, here we go.

Speaker 2:

Every single thing you do when you're working toward learning to trust yourself, learning to save yourself, learning to be there for yourself, taking responsibility, every freaking thing you do. That is even sort of a win. You count that, because that is learning to trust yourself, and if you acknowledge it, that's even better. I would have friends that would say, like, well, what did you do today? Did you work out today? And I'd be like, well, I went to the garage and cried through my workout. And they're like good job, you got your workout clothes on, you went to the garage. Good job. Like take that as a win. You wanted to stay in bed and cry. You got up, got dressed, went to the garage. Keep doing that and eventually you'll be able to do a squat and eventually you'll be able to do a squat and a press. Like you can build on that. That's huge, because when I was doing those things, I was like you're right, I did go to the garage today and I cried, and crying is actually great. So I did two great things.

Speaker 2:

That's how you learn. To sum this up, finally, that's how you learn to trust yourself. That's how you take responsibility for where you are, for what got me to be depressed, for what got me to be out of control. Take responsibility, and it might take a while and then you very gradually work on how to take responsibility for that and improve your actions to move on. So you have got to take responsibility for yourself and realize you are the reason that you got to where you are, and the great news about that is is when you start to trust yourself again, no one's gonna let you down.

Speaker 2:

Like you are, that's the great part. Like, I still have some bad days, don't get me wrong. But when I'm having a good day, it's me Like I can look at myself and be like you got yourself out of depression. You can do this. You don't have to quit on yourself. Even the other day I was like I don't really feel like doing a whole lot, I just kind of want to be like. It wasn't in like a depressive way, I was just like I want to take a nap, like I don't want to work, I'm tired, and I was like, okay, you consciously I've learned to say to myself you can do that, you absolutely can do that. But will you be happy at the end of the day? Or should you change the way you're talking to yourself right now and go do something? And if you don't like it, if you're not really satisfied after you did it, then don't do the rest. If you're not happy that you got up and moved, then by all means don't move anymore.

Speaker 2:

It's kind of like starting a workout and you're like, just start it and get a couple sets in, and if you're like, okay, I'm still have a huge headache and I'm still so tired, okay, then don't finish it. Chances are, though, you're gonna finish it. So I still do this. I still definitely learn to or I'm still learning to, walk myself through these processes, but I had to have someone teach me. I had to have someone guide me. I had to have someone help me and be there to listen to me.

Speaker 2:

Just like in fitness, people can teach you. I'm teaching you macros and workouts. I'm guiding you, I'm helping you, and for my clients, I write their workouts. Even I do all that and I write their workouts and I set their macros and I tell them to drink their water, and I put it on their calendar drink this much water, get your steps in sleep, but you have to do it. I can say to you and hold your hand and walk you through and write it all out and give you the exact Way to go, but you have to do it and until you start doing even one of those things daily, daily, daily, and then two of those things daily, daily, daily.

Speaker 2:

Until you start to do that, you won't trust yourself. But when you start to get some momentum Going, the motivation kicks in, the confidence kicks in and you don't need anyone to come save you. You can save yourself. So take care of yourself. I'm not saying that you shouldn't have support. I'm not saying that people can't help you. I think that's absolutely key. But at the end of the day, no one is coming to save you.

Speaker 2:

So start putting in the work, especially the mental work, and Learn to save yourself. I'm telling you, there's no better feeling than on the days when I'm like you're a bad bitch. You can do this. You got yourself out of depression more than once and I'm sure I'll have to do it again, but you can right like. You've gotten yourself in shape. Once you can do it again. You've gotten yourself to count macros. Once you can do it again. Whatever you need to say to yourself, you every, every day.

Speaker 2:

Last summer you went for a walk. You can do it again. So just start by those positive talks or those positive words to yourself and you will start to make that turn. I Hope you enjoy this episode. I am sure that you did, because I really enjoyed Creating it for you and I really just hope to inspire you to be the baddest Version of yourself that you can be, because why not? If we could be the most, if we could be the most bad ass Version of ourselves, why would we not be that? So, on that note, I cannot wait to talk to you next week.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for listening to today's show. Go ahead and leave a rating and a review and, of course, follow the podcast so you don't miss out on any future episodes. And I would love it so much if you came to connect with me over on Instagram at Christy Castillo fit. I will see you next time.