The Unf*ck Your Fitness Podcast

98. 4 Traits That Will Hold You Back From Ever Reaching Your Goals

Kristy Castillo

Do you get stuck wondering why it feels like you never get any closer to making progress or reaching your goals?  Sometimes you even feel like you are working hard but you still quit or get stuck!? Things always happen to cause setbacks in your progress??

There are 4 traits, mindsets, attitudes that I have noticed in myself and my clients over the years that cause this feeling of being stuck. In this episode I am sorting through them with you so you can easily identify if these are what it holding you back... and if so, what you can do to change it!

Sometimes it's a default habit, an inconsistent follow through or simply just a matter of wasted time that can be changed if we only notice it first.

I think you will find this episode realistic, eye opening and helpful!


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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Unfuck your Fitness podcast. I am your host, Christy Castillo, and I'm here to give you real talk and cut the BS so you can actually enjoy building a body you love. I'm a personal trainer obsessed with giving you simple action steps to take you from feeling stuck to feeling sexy. Let's go.

Speaker 2:

Hey guys, what's up? Welcome to today's episode. Super excited for this one. It has the potential for me to get a little spicy and I feel like it's been a minute since I've been spicy on here or in general in my content and my coaching, so I'm ready. I'm actually recording this on the first day of February, so maybe that's why Maybe, like, january is over and I'm coming out of my funk. I don't know, we'll see.

Speaker 2:

I shouldn't speak too soon on that, but what I'm going to be talking today about today is four things four reasons why you could be holding yourself back in your fitness journey. These are going to be like attitudes, outlooks, personality traits that are holding you back from seeing results in your fitness journey. I'm not sure why I'm struggling so much with how to say what I'm trying to talk about in this episode, but it's just a little. It is a little confusing to me because I don't know for sure if these are outlooks or if they're excuses or like what exactly they are. But anyway, we're going to dive into it and these are things that, honestly, I've been guilty of. Every single one of them Currently I'm guilty of. Oh, I don't know, maybe every single one of them, depending on the day. So these are all things that I see in some of my clients, in my friends in social media, that I hear in conversations when I'm just out and about listening to people, or things that are in my own head, like when I'm journaling or when I'm thinking through, like what is your problem, christy? Why can you not take action? What is going on? These are the things that I really come up with. I get a lot of messages saying like Christy, I feel like you're in my head or how do you know what I'm thinking? I feel like you know exactly what I'm going through, exactly when I'm going through it, and that's because, like, I'm having conversations behind the scenes, in the DMs, on Instagram mostly, and with my clients. But I know how you think I was where you are and sometimes, mentally, I still am. I still struggle with all of these things. And so I am you, or I was you, and I'm talking to you. I'm talking to people just like you on Instagram or in the real world, right, like I'm having these conversations with people just like you who are struggling. Like that's how I know exactly what's going on. I'm very aware I'm very like inside of like this is why this is going on, and so it's just interesting to me. And people are like I feel like you literally know what I'm thinking on the day. I'm thinking it like well, that's because I do so, anyway, let's dive in. So, again, these are reasons why you're being held back from seeing results. So I'm going to give it to you straight, I'm going to talk about these things and I'm excited. So I know at least one of these is going to resonate with you.

Speaker 2:

And, being that I am recording this February 1st, I do have a lot of clients who are like ready to cut and ready to grind and ready to, you know, come out of this winter depression, seasonal depression, like this little funk, right, and we're kind of like coming out of that. And these are things that I'm seeing or hearing from my clients that are really struggling with, like why they can't get moving or why they're not seeing results or why they can't take action. So I digress, let's dive in Number one. If you are someone who is busy but not productive, I see this all of the time, and this is also me. So these people spend the majority of their time like a huge majority, like 90% of their time researching and studying everything they can about nutrition and exercise and weight loss and fat loss and muscle gain, and they're following all of the social media influencers and accounts and they're digesting all of the information information overload. It's not great. Some of the information they're intaking is total bullshit and it's not even true. But it's just like this consumption and the more people I can follow and the more accounts that I follow.

Speaker 2:

First of all, that's wasted time, like way too much wasted time. If you only spent half of that time working out, you would see results. But since we are spending so much time consuming the information, that leaves very little time for us to actually do the work required. So, if this is you and you're spending so much time getting the information, consuming the information, learning, or you think that you're learning and you're spending very little time actually doing the work, because probably, if you're like me, I'm exhausted when I consume right, when we're consuming, and it's like this dopamine hit and over and over and over on social media like it's exhausting, and when you get off, you're tired because your brain is like hit, hit, hit. I literally snapped when I did that, but it's like it's exhausting to be on social media.

Speaker 2:

I know you're sitting and you're scrolling and you think you're just learning and it's very thought. You think it's thoughtless, it's not, it's work. Your brain takes energy, takes fuel to do that. And so not only are you like actually tired and you don't want to do the thing anymore, and you probably wasted your time on social media when you should have been working out. You feel busy in your mind, you feel like you're just go, go, go, go go, and your brain is never stopping. So the fact that you're spending the majority of your time at researching, studying, like being quote unquote busy, leaves very little time to be productive.

Speaker 2:

We need to completely shift that. If you have the information that you've been consuming and consuming and consuming, stop consuming it and go fucking do the work. Go to the gym and do some walking on the treadmill, do some jogging on the treadmill, do some weightlifting, do some machines, like do something. And if you can follow a program, that would be perfect. My Fit Club membership is $35 a month right now and you have the tools to go to the gym and do a workout or do the workout at home. It's not hard to like figure out what you're supposed to be doing and, honestly, if you're just overly consuming, you're going to be so. Your mind's going to be so busy and full of information that you're not even going to know how to take action. So, honestly, spend way more time being productive and less time consuming on.

Speaker 2:

Along with that, the very small amount of time that most people do spend on quote unquote, like the things that are supposed to be moving them forward, are things that don't matter. I see this a lot too. The things that people do focus on and try to learn about and try to actually do are things like intermittent fasting, cardio. What supplements should I be taking? What time should I be eating? Should I be eating in the morning? Should I be not eating after 8pm? Food timing right Like that doesn't matter. Limiting carbs or trying the latest diet trend or the quote unquote new thing that some influencer posted, this new workout or this new superset none of that matters. If all you're doing is consuming the content and you're not doing anything physically to even move yourself in the right direction, let alone, those things aren't going to help you. You can do all the intermittent fasting, all the cardio, take all the supplements. Worry about what time you're eating. If you're not eating enough and you're not doing the right workouts, none of that is going to matter. So, moral of the story, this is me. I can definitely relate.

Speaker 2:

When I am super fixated on something, I'm like I want to learn, learn, learn, learn, learn, and I never take action. Or I'm kind of a procrastinator in that sense. Like I know I should go out into my garage and I should work out, but all of a sudden I maybe should research something, or I should change my outfit, or I should get my water ready, or I should clean the house, or like all of a sudden I should do anything but that, right, it's because my brain is so freaking busy. We need to slow it down and actually do the things. So if you are someone who is busy but not productive, if you feel like I am so freaking busy but you're not doing anything to move the needle, I'm like this in my business too and, honestly, like around the house, like I'll busy work, like just picking up things, going from room to room, cleaning, tidying up, and then I look around and I'm like I haven't done anything productive, I'm very, very much guilty of this. So if this is you, what we need to do is make a list of the things that matter, the things that need to be done, and freaking do them. Don't pay attention to the influencers, don't pay attention to social media. Stop freaking researching. All you need to do is lift weights, drink water, get eight to 10 K steps in and follow a workout plan and lift weights. Like there's four things you need to be doing. Everything else Don't worry about it.

Speaker 2:

So that is one personality, trait or habit or whatever we want to call it, that is holding you back If you're busy but not productive. That's number one. Number two if you have constant excuses, or this can also be a victim mentality. I will be honest, nothing drives me more crazy. I shouldn't say nothing. Very few things drive me more crazy than a victim mentality.

Speaker 2:

So there are a lot of ways in life that people have a victim mentality and it it makes me so crazy Like I cannot relate to these people at all. I just I think it sounds like whining, I think it sounds ridiculous. I'm like do you even hear yourself? Like, take some sort of control, responsibility? I just I, I don't like it at all. But it's a little bit different in the health and fitness world. So some things I hear, and this doesn't really drive me crazy. In the fitness world it's different and in life stuff, victim mentality pisses me off. In fitness I get it because this is what I do and this is what I hear, and so I can understand and I can relate, because when I first started I thought the same thing. So when I'm coaching my clients, this can sound like, or even though I'm having conversations, people will be like I can't go to the gym because my friends will judge me, I can't understand, or they'll make fun of me. Or if I'm weighing my food somewhere or if I'm tracking my macros somewhere in public God forbid. We focus on our health Someone will make fun of them, their friends will judge them, who like okay, I get it. I've been there.

Speaker 2:

I remember when I was a hairstylist and I would bring my food and I would not track it, but I would. Just I would eat the same thing every single day to kind of it wasn't even hitting my macros at that point. I was just doing those beach body containers but anyway, and I was feeling really good and looking really good and I liked what I was doing. But people would say like, oh my gosh, that's so obsessive, all you eat is chicken. I don't understand and I felt like. I honestly felt like, well, I don't care. If you understand, I look good and I feel good. And if I didn't If I didn't look good, you wouldn't be making fun of me, like, if I looked like everybody else out here and was eating you know crappy foods, you wouldn't be saying anything to me. So I would instantly be like well, mind your business.

Speaker 2:

But I understand that for some people that's a reason to be like. I don't know if I can do this, because my friends are going to want to do this on the weekends and I'm going to need to stop. Whatever friends, family, whoever will judge you. Another thing I hear is that your significant other doesn't support you, or they don't eat the same as you, or your family doesn't eat the same as you and I can't, not even your family, because kids are something different. If your significant other doesn't support you, that's crappy in itself, but if your significant other doesn't eat the same way as you or like won't eat the same foods as you, that's on them. I. This makes me crazy and I'm I mean I, my husband's going to listen to this, I, and he's going to. He's going to know this is true, like if and we've always done this like I don't have the same goals physically as my husband, I don't have the same goals physically as my children, so I eat differently than my husband, than my children. It is what it is.

Speaker 2:

I've always accepted that and my husband and I did start out our fitness journey Equal, like we started out kind of doing the same things and learning, but like he does get more food than me and we do have different schedules and life is busy and crazy. So but I would never, ever allow. And there have been times where he's been eating super healthy and I have not, not even healthy I don't like the term healthy where he's been hitting macros and tracking food and been like really dialed in and focused on his nutrition and I've not. And there's been times when I've been super dialed in on my nutrition and getting up early in the mornings and he is not. And neither one of us are like, oh, stop doing that or you're working too hard, like we're supportive. But also, if I didn't support him, he would still do the things. Like he's a grown man, he's strong enough in that to like he knows what he wants to do and has to do, and he does it, and same for me, just because he wants to have pizza one night.

Speaker 2:

If that doesn't fit in my goals, like, I don't have to do that and he's not going to make fun of me for it, but that's just never been something that, for me, has held me back. And this is some tough love, and I'm just going to say it. If your excuse is, my husband won't like I cook the meals and my husband won't eat the foods that I cook, well, maybe he can make his own dinners, like I don't know. I don't know how else to say it, but we, and vice versa, right, whatever, whoever your significant other is, if roles are reversed, whatever that looks like your, you cannot allow someone else to always hold you back. If someone will not cook the foods you're eating, that's on them. Like this these are my goals, this is my health, this is my life, this is my body. This is what I'm freaking doing and if you don't like it, I don't know what to tell you. Sorry, like there has to be a shift somewhere. That's how it would look like for me. I realize that's not everyone, but this is how we're preaching it today, okay.

Speaker 2:

So, like I said, I have never eaten the exact same dinner at like, portion wise or whatever. Like, yeah, we eat the same food most of the time but honestly, sometimes we don't. Sometimes I'm having something out of the fridge like leftovers and my husband's like I'll just make a sandwich, or it's food Like it doesn't need to be super creative, it doesn't need to be the same, it doesn't need to be all on a spread on the table and beautiful it's. This drives me crazy. So, like I digress. I could go on and on about that. But if your significant other doesn't support you or eat the same as you, no, I, we're not. We're not doing that. We're adults. We're claiming our body and our health as something that's important and like that, that's a whole. That's a whole thing, as you can tell.

Speaker 2:

Another thing is like are there some fun parties coming up? It's summer. I like to go out with my friends. I like to. You know, we're on the lake every weekend and the summer, whatever. So I can't start this workout program or this won't work for me because I love X, y and Z foods.

Speaker 2:

Right, that's a victim mentality, that's constant excuses, like I can't do that. Poor me, poor me, god forbid I give up something or God forbid I change any bit of my life, right? So every situation becomes a reason they can't or it won't work for them. This can be self-sabotage, whereas sometimes it's like you're looking at it in a way where I can't do that, I you know that's not going to work for my family, or and that can be where you're like not wanting to put in the effort to change your family dynamic or to stand up for yourself when your friends are around, like that can be self-sabotage, but sometimes it's just an excuse. So if you constantly have excuses, if the people around you are not supportive, if you won't take control of your own health and your fitness and your mentality, that's a problem and that's going to hold you back.

Speaker 2:

Number three if you are inconsistent. This could be a personality trait and I hear that a lot too Like I'm just, I've never been consistent. That's self-sabotage, that's an excuse, that's a victim mentality. Oh, poor me, right. But you are consistent in saying that you're inconsistent. You are consistent in doing the things that have gotten you to where you are. You're just not consistent with macros and with weightlifting and with water and with tracking your steps, right, you're not consistent with the right things, but you are consistent.

Speaker 2:

So if you are very inconsistent, though, in your workouts, like in your fitness program, what this looks like is trying to follow a plan perfectly for a few days. So this will look like let me give a really good example here. This looks like you being inconsistent with your workout program. It looks like you starting something, signing up for something, you follow the plan perfectly for a few days, perfectly, spot on, nailed it, you prepped, you're ready to go, you're up and at them, let's go. After a few days you start half-assing it because you're like I'm tired, whatever it's going to be the weekend soon, like I'm over it. Okay, this happens for a few weeks. So you're perfect for a few days. You're half-assing it for a few days and then you get back on track, usually on Monday, right, you're perfect for a few days. By Thursday you're falling off, and again and again and again, you notice the scale hasn't gone down. And then you start to blame metabolism. Or this program doesn't work for me. Poor me, poor me. I just I'm not consistent. I can't do this. But the biggest one is this just doesn't work for me. No, the problem is that you haven't been consistent with the workout plan. You set yourself up for failure. You tried to follow something too perfectly and it's not working. So if you're not putting in the effort, then of course it's not going to work for you.

Speaker 2:

As far as food goes, we are really bad at guessing how much food we eat or how many calories we're eating. Like estimating is not our strong suit. So if you start off the week tracking and you're really on point and then half-assing it for a few days, in my mind is kind of like just guessing and maybe eating a few things here and there that you're not tracking and being like okay, and trust me, I am so guilty of this. Yesterday I had God. On last week's podcast I talked about how I had tutorials Right before the podcast.

Speaker 2:

Today I'm talking about how I had donuts. Yesterday I had two donuts and I looked at the package and I was like, okay, per donut it's like 130 calories or something. So I'm like I don't really need to track that. It's like 40 carbs, 300 calories. We'll say it's fine. And then I'm like, okay, if you don't track it, like it's still happened, you have to put it in the app and something about me seeing it is like okay, now it's real right. So anyway, that would be me half-assing it and then wondering, like why I'm not seeing the results. And this is something that I'm stuck in right now is I'm not being consistent with anything, partly because I'm not doing anything, like I don't have a plan to follow at the moment on purpose.

Speaker 2:

But anyway, estimating is not our strong suit. So if you're trying to like under eat during the day and then you're overeating at night and you're not tracking that, you can easily consume way too many calories in the evening Just munching on snacks while you're cooking dinner, sitting down, and you're having a couple bites of ice cream and then you're having a brownie and then you're having a bowl of cereal and then you're. I mean you can easily get out of control if you, if you under eat during the day and you're overeating at night or under eating during the week and then overeating on the weekend and being like well, I just didn't track my weekend because it was a really bad weekend. Okay, well, how bad was it? Like that's the problem we're half-assing it, we're not consistent with it, and then we didn't track it. So we don't know how inconsistent we were. We just know that, like, we didn't do a good job. So tracking is necessary.

Speaker 2:

As far as food goes, tracking is necessary not in an obsessive way, but in an awareness way, just like tracking your money budgeting. You have a certain amount and if you don't stay within that amount you've, you're broke. And if same thing with macros if you don't stay within that amount and you overeat, you're going to gain weight. So it's the same thing. Tracking is necessary and not half-assing it most of the time is necessary as well.

Speaker 2:

So if you are inconsistent in your workout program, if you're inconsistent in life because if you heard the quote, how you show up for one thing is how you show up for everything. I don't know if that's literally true, how you show up for everything, but it is for me Like if I'm half-assing my workouts, I'm also kind of half-assing my nutrition, and then I'm half-assing my housework and then I'm half-assing my work, work, like it's just this trickle effect of being inconsistent. I'm not saying we have to be perfect, I'm talking about that next but we do have to be consistent in what we're saying, that we're doing. So if you're following a plan perfectly for a few days and then you're half-assing it for a few days on repeat. Of course you're not going to see results. But then that type of personality is just like oh, this isn't going to work for me, that program doesn't work for me, when in reality you didn't even follow the program.

Speaker 2:

Number four if you have an all-or-nothing mindset, if you are a perfectionist type A personality it's maybe something you say, I've said that before Thinking that you need to be overly aggressive with the changes you make in your fitness lifestyle, thinking that you have to make huge, drastic changes in order to see progress. I used to be guilty of this. I used to be like I have to stop everything I'm doing right now and do all of these new things to see results. I have to do them perfectly, period. That's not true. It's too overwhelming to live with an all-or-nothing mindset. It's too hard to live with a perfectionism mindset. Day to day is hard enough. I'm learning consistently in my life. Day to day is hard enough. So let's take some pressure off. Instead of putting more pressure on, let's plan better. Let's not try to be perfect, but let's try to be consistent and let's try to take away all of the changes at once. That's why I'm so constantly.

Speaker 2:

I'm so consistent with preaching to you that we have to start small habits. We have to start them one by one. Even in last week's episode I talked about changing one thing and giving yourself an entire freaking month to master that. That's the opposite of an all-or-nothing mindset. I love it because I have one-on-one clients right now that are seeing changes just by making a few shifts in their life, just by picking up a few workouts a week. They're seeing changes Just by adding water to their day, like more water, consistently. They're seeing changes in their skin, in their digestion, in how they're feeling, in their sleep. They're seeing so many changes just by making the smallest shifts and it's really, really beneficial.

Speaker 2:

There is a book called Atomic Habits by James Clear where he talks about being 1% better. I love this book, highly recommend. Basically, we think so much about making huge changes and we have to change everything and we have to become this new person and we have to just write like New Year's resolutions, and it's a new year, new year, new me, and like that's all bullshit If you focus every single day on being 1% better. It's the simplest freaking thing. 1% is hardly noticeable on a day to day basis, but at the end of the year, huge changes have been made right, huge changes.

Speaker 2:

So, even if large shifts are necessary, even if you need to build a ton of muscle because you have no muscle right now and you need to build a lot of muscle and get your body to a healthy place metabolism muscle is so important to have on your body for so many different reasons as we get older. I've been saying this for like so much recently that having muscle will help you like just preserve life and not be injured so much and it's so freaking important. So, if you need to build a ton of muscle because you don't have any and that's not healthy, if you need to lose a lot of weight, if you need to lose a lot of fat, if you need to cut out sugary foods because they're not good for you, if you need to eat more whole foods, like, there can be a lot of shifts that you need to make. There can be a lot of changes that you need to make and maybe you're like, no, I do need to change my entire life. Like I literally need to change my entire life, my entire being, like it's a big deal, I understand, but you're not going to do that all at once. It's silly to think that we can do it all at once or that we even need to. So the path that you're taking can get you like the end result can be those big changes, but do it 1% at a time, like the map can look different for everyone. As long as you get there, that's what matters. It doesn't really matter how fast, and honestly I would rather you get there a little slower, because then the changes really add up and they actually last. So if you have an all or nothing mindset, a perfectionist mindset, that's not necessarily something to be proud of.

Speaker 2:

I used to be like oh, I'm such a perfectionist, I'm so type A, like I just can't do certain things because I'm so type A. With my business, this looked like creating guides and PDFs and programs and workouts and never releasing them, because I was like it's not perfect, people aren't going to like it, it's not, it's not as good as I want it to be, it's not perfect, it's not done. I would never release it. That sucks, because it was holding myself back for so long and the podcast being one of them. For years I have wanted to do this podcast and I'm like I don't know how to do it. It's not going to be perfect. People are going to like it. People are going to like me. They're not going to like what I talk about. I mean, you guys, you could have been learning this stuff years ago if I wouldn't have been such a perfectionist.

Speaker 2:

But I just kept saying, like I'm so type A, I can't do it yet, I need to be 100% ready. And that just wasn't true, like I was never going to be 100% ready, and so I've made one one percent, better one percent changes where, like every day, in the right direction, to just get this podcast done, to get my workouts out there and I do release workout programs and sometimes there are glitches and I get messages like, hey, this isn't working for me, can you fix it? Absolutely, I don't know why I didn't do that sooner. We're all human and you guys understand that I'm human, so I digress. But we need to just slow it down right.

Speaker 2:

Realize that even if you do have a all or nothing mindset, you are a perfectionist, you are a type A. That's fine, like we're all. I don't know if we're born with that, but we're built into that programming. Somehow you can change it and it doesn't mean that it has to be in every area of your life, and I'm not saying that sometimes that does pay off. Sometimes being a perfectionist in a type A, like it's, it's okay, it's not like it's terrible.

Speaker 2:

But in this particular situation, if we're always trying to be perfect, we're always going to mess up and then we're always going to think we're not good enough and then we're always going to have to start over. So let's just stop, Like we. That's holding you back. So let me go through these again. Number one, if you are someone who is busy but not productive. Number two, if you are someone who has constant excuses or a victim mentality. Number three, if you are someone who is inconsistent in your fitness program or nutrition program. And number four, if you have an all or nothing mindset or a perfectionist mindset. These are all traits, these are all habits, these are all things that are holding you back. And I may have gotten a little spicy there and I love it and I'm not sorry for that, because I really believe that sometimes we need to hear like, stop playing the victim, stop making excuses, stop living in that perfectionism mindset, like it doesn't have to define us, we're allowed to be like nope, that's not me anymore. That's not going to work. Today I'm going to be 1% better and I'm going to make a move in the next direction.

Speaker 2:

If you need help along the way, please, please, get it. Find a friend you can lean on better yet. Find a coach. Find a mentor that you can lean on to be like okay, I do need to make some changes, but I don't know where to start. That's what we're here for. That's what I do for my clients inside of 1-1 coaching. I love it so much sending voice messages to my clients and helping them really figure out where to start.

Speaker 2:

What's going wrong? What's happening? Why are what are we doing? What are we not doing? What can we change this week? That's my favorite thing to do. But if you I know you can relate to at least one of these, and if you relate to all of them, like me at times, that's okay. Just know. Well, now you do know. Just know that these things are holding you back and they will continue to do so.

Speaker 2:

The most important thing you can do is notice it, stop it and just take action in one way or another. If you don't know where to start, start going for walks every day and then add in extra water every day and then add in some weightlifting every day. A little bit right. These little things add up. Don't worry about the small things. Don't worry about trying to be perfect. If you fall off track quote unquote off track it's fine. Get back on, it's not a big deal, it's part of the journey. So I really hope this episode was helpful. As usual, find me on Instagram, shoot me a message and let me know how much you liked this one or how pissed you are that I called you out. Please leave a rating and review on the podcast as well. That means the world to me. I love reading those, love to know that you're here and the podcast is helping you, and I will talk to you next week.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for listening to today's show. Go ahead and leave a rating and a review and, of course, follow the podcast so you don't miss out on any future episodes. And I would love it so much if you came to connect with me over on Instagram at Christy Castillo fit. I will see you next time.