The Unf*ck Your Fitness Podcast

136. Overcoming Anxiety and Embracing Compassion on Your Fitness Journey with Erin Burns (Part 2)

• Kristy Castillo

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I’m very excited to be BACK with my amazing guest, Erin Burns, for today’s part 2 episode!


If you haven’t listened to part 1 from last week, make sure you do that first, and then come back to this one.


In today’s conversation, Erin and I discuss how thoughts like shame and guilt can get you stuck in a vicious cycle of ‘suck’, and how anxiety comes into play. Years ago, anxiety wasn’t something that people typically dealt with, but now...it’s everywhere! 


Getting to the ‘root’ of your anxiety and really understanding why you’re experiencing it is so, SO important. Using tools like the Internal Family Systems (IFS) and the 8 Cs (which Erin explains thoroughly), can greatly help, as well as getting crystal clear on what your core self wants as you create habits on our fitness journeys.


We also dive into how self-sabotage shows up, why exercise like weightlifting and boxing can leave you feeling powerful (both mentally AND physically), taking up MORE space as women, and more. 


When you can get really honest with yourself, choose to self-reflect, and take more of a compassionate approach to your fitness, you WILL transform your life. Both of these episodes with Erin were PHENOMENAL, and I know you’re going to resonate with them so much!!


Erin Burns is an Illinois-based licensed clinical professional counselor; we connected on Instagram awhile ago, and she’s also a regular listener of my podcast. Erin specializes in treating patients with a variety of mental issues. Her passion is founded in working with those who are hoping to reach a deeper sense of fulfillment in life, whether that be through processing previous traumas, finding joy in life again, or rediscovering who they are as individuals.


She opened her practice, Sol Healing PLLC, in July 2024, and is currently accepting new clients in-person and virtually. 


In today’s episode, we cover:

  • How our never-ending thoughts of shame & guilt lead to anxiety + us getting stuck in a cycle of ‘suck’
  • How the Internal Family Systems (IFS) impacts us + the role of the 8 Cs
  • Getting crystal clear on what you/your core self wants so you can create and establish habits on your fitness journey
  • Why we continue to self-sabotage + getting brutally honest with ourselves as we navigate new/different seasons
  • How exercise (like weightlifting or boxing) can be an impactful way to work through traumatic and/or negative life experiences


Links/Resources:

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Un-Fuck-Your-Fitness Podcast. I am your host, Christy Castillo, and I'm here to give you real talk and cut the BS so you can actually enjoy building a body you love. I'm a personal trainer obsessed with giving you simple action steps to take you from feeling stuck to feeling sexy. Let's go. Hey guys, what's up? Welcome to today's episode.

Speaker 2:

I am super excited to dive into part two of this series with Erin. I hope you loved last week's episode. If you are just joining us for this episode, please, please, please, push, stop right after I finish this sentence and go back and start last week's, the previous episode. There's so much good information that we covered and it kind of continues on into this episode. So just do me a favor and go back and listen to part one first before you jump into this episode. But just want to give you a little background on Erin, just in case you forgot. I have Erin with me today again my first guest speaker and Erin is an Illinois-based licensed clinical professional counselor who specializes in working with a variety of mental health issues, including PTSD, trauma, identity, life transitions, body image and women's issues. Erin's passion in the field of counseling is founded in working with clients who are hoping to reach a deeper level of fulfillment in their life, whether that be through processing previous traumas, finding joy in life again or rediscovering who they are as individuals. I can relate to every single one of those things. I don't know about you. Erin opened her own business Soul Healing love the name in July of this year, and she's currently accepting new clients for in-person or telehealth services. Please note that clients seeking telehealth services, obviously as well well as in person, must be located in Illinois. If you are not located in Illinois and state with her. She's also open to giving consultations. Talking to you about your situation, kind of what you're looking for within a therapist. Therapists have this very awesome tool and way of getting to know each other and knowing which therapist would be great for which person that comes to them. So she is very open to having consultations to people out of her area to help them find someone that can help. So if you're looking for help and you're not in the Illinois area but you're loving Erin through these episodes, please reach out to her. All of her information will be in the show notes and, as usual, reach out to me if you need help with anything. But I'm super excited to dive into this week's episode. I hope you love it. Okay, welcome back to this week's episode.

Speaker 2:

I am back with Erin and we wrapped up last week's episode on part one talking about shame and guilt, and it was so, erin. And we wrapped up last week's episode on part one talking about shame and guilt, and it was so good and we were talking about. Well, we are going to talk about how many times that will lead right into anxiety and negative thoughts, and this absolutely ties into me. I definitely am an anxious warrior and, yes, that absolutely comes from shame and guilt, so I can tirade into this, but let's, I want to get your thoughts on this because I know I love a therapist point of view on anxiety. Honestly, because I didn't realize that I even had shame and guilt. I didn't realize how much that tied into my anxiety until I got a therapist to dive into this. To be honest, I know that sounds silly, but I want to just hear your thoughts on this and then I will tie it, of course, back into health and fitness.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, for sure. So I think what's interesting about anxiety is even when I was in high school, anxiety wasn't a thing.

Speaker 3:

So early 2000s like anxiety was not a thing times there's a root there is something deeper that causes your brain to fire that way, and not that if you get rid of that root, the anxiety goes away completely, but it makes it a hell of a lot more manageable. So, with that being said, when it comes to shame and guilt, if we have this constant black cloud of shame and guilt over us, saying you don't want to be fat, you don't want to be a bad person, you don't want to be whatever, fill in the blank, well then that's going to make us very hyper aware of the things that would make those things come true and cue anxious thoughts. That's a huge reason why I think, if we can clear out the shame and anxiety and then we're just left with like, oh what if this happens, it makes it a lot more, it makes it a lot easier to challenge a what-if thought if there isn't this huge piece of shame and guilt attached to that thought.

Speaker 2:

Yes, absolutely. I think that's so important and for me it was just such a. It was so eye-opening to realize that first of all, I didn't understand what my anxiety was like. I didn't realize what was happening in my body, and we're gonna obviously turn from health and fitness, but in terms of health and fitness, for me I was and so many of my clients are obsessed in a way that is not healthy and it's kind of that black cloud that you're talking about.

Speaker 2:

We are always thinking about what is my workout? Am I doing cardio? Am I lifting weights? What is my goal? When am I going to the gym?

Speaker 2:

If I don't go in the morning, I suck. If I don't go after work, I suck. I can't do it. What am I eating? I'm eating too much. I'm never going to look right. It's just like we're always thinking about it. We're never good enough, we never fit into our clothes, and it's this cycle of suck, a cycle of shame oh my God, it's just. We can get lost in it. And that, for me, caused so much anxiety because I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. I didn't like my body, I didn't. It was just. I mean, I could go on and on, but I didn't realize where it was coming from. I thought it was normal because, honestly, so many women are obsessed with it in that way that it sounds normal and we all talk about it. And when I took myself out of and I mean literally took myself out of pretty much I hate bashing on beach by so much when I took myself out of that world, when I took myself, away from.

Speaker 3:

It's a culture.

Speaker 2:

Yes, when I took myself away from, honestly, those people and that culture and that way of thinking, I was already so much less stressed about it because it wasn't the way that things are laid out, and that was just my experience. The way that things were laid out was you had to get up in the morning and you had to have a morning routine and you had to get your work and you had to push play and you had to drink your yellow juice and all this shit that you hear, and I was like I hate this. This is so ridiculous. I'm unhealthy. I don't like the way that I look. I feel like if I'm not thinking about it all the time, I'm doing something wrong.

Speaker 2:

Now, present day, I hardly ever think about it. I know exactly what I'm going to eat. I know exactly what I'm going to do for a workout. It's like the furthest thing from my mind which we kind of talked about last week. I didn't know how to get out of that world, but I did. It's kind of like I didn't see a way where I didn't obsess about food and workouts. Now I literally do not.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, but that caused so much anxiety for me and I didn't know where it was coming from. When I broke it down, I felt so much shame and guilt for not acting like that culture did. Yep, anyway. So then when I got myself out of it, it was like, oh, this is such a much better way to live. I don't have those anxious thoughts, so you're right, removing that root.

Speaker 2:

It still creeps back for me, honestly, of course, but I have tools to kind of bring myself out of it. So, yes, you're absolutely spot on there, and I just think that, as far as health and fitness is concerned and of course this can lead into so many areas of life, but as far as health and fitness is concerned, I want everyone to know that it's like natural. It seems normal to be overwhelmed and to not see a way out of being stressed out about how you look and feel. But there is such a better way and it comes a lot of times from this. So I want to talk about you, bring up some good points about how our brains are trying to protect us. We have the family systems we have in here to talk about, and I definitely want to talk about that because I think you were talking about core self when we were talking about just going over notes together and I love that, so let's dive into that, yeah.

Speaker 3:

So the first thing I'll touch on ties in with what we talked about last week with natural and manufactured emotion. So anxiety is a biological response to things. The difference in present day? Anxiety helps us keep a lookout for the threat. So way back in caveman times, the threat was the saber-toothed tiger. So anxiety helps us keep a lookout for the threat. So way back in caveman times, the threat was the saber-toothed tiger. So anxiety helped us stay safe and not getting eaten by the tiger. So essentially, what you have to do now is figure out what is your saber-toothed tiger, what is the thing that feels like the biggest threat to you, and then look at is there shame and guilt associated with that, or can we approach that with more neutrality, like we talked about last week? So anxiety and worry is natural, but where it shifts into more of that manufactured stuff that we talked about last week is when we are obsessing. We are overthinking all of that kind of stuff.

Speaker 3:

So you mentioned internal family systems. This is a theory that I use every day with my clients. I am obsessed with it. I think it's so, so helpful in really just getting in touch with your identity. And I think that ties in with this because to get to a place where you exercise and eat healthy because it's a part of your identity, not because it's something you feel like you have to do, is huge.

Speaker 3:

So internal family systems basically says that we as a human being are a system and we are made up of these different quote-unquote parts that help us function. So if you think of a bus, the goal is to have our core self, which you alluded to, in the driver's seat at all times. But we have these other protective parts that think our core self can't handle it, so they push it out of the way, sometimes push it in the trunk, and they take over. One of the most common parts that comes up for us with anxiety is called a manager part. There's so many different types and almost like personality profiles of what these parts kind of look like or where they come from. But the main thing I want you to take from this is managers are very critical, and they are critical because they're trying to protect us from whatever our version of the saber-toothed tiger is. So if my saber-toothed tiger in my fitness journey is being overweight, right, the manager is going to say you can't eat that cookie because if you do, you're going to get fat.

Speaker 3:

That is functioning from that more anxious space. Now, if my core self is in the driver's seat, my core self is functioning from these eight Cs C as in the letter. So compassion, curiosity, clarity, creativity, calm, confidence, courage and connectedness. And so we can tell that we are making decisions from our core self when we feel those eight Cs. So, for example, when my manager is in the driver's seat and I eat a cookie and I feel anxious and shame and guilty and all that, that is not my core self. That is not my true self interpreting that event. If I ate that cookie and I felt calm, or if I felt clarity of, yeah, I know what my macros are, I know that this fits in. If I ate that cookie and I felt calm, or if I felt clarity of, yeah, I know what my macros are, I know that this fits in. Or I know that it doesn't and I'll just make a better choice tomorrow. Or I feel compassion for myself for eating a cookie because I wanted one.

Speaker 3:

Even just saying that the difference in describing how it feels so different, absolutely, I think, when we think of how anxiety plays a role, it's really helpful to externalize that part of you that is beating yourself up or being really mean to you. We can look at it with compassion of oh, you're just trying to protect me, but you don't know a better way to protect me. Right now, you think that you're protecting me by critiquing me, but what I really need is these eight C's.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I really like that. I think that again just helps us to step away and figure out where those thoughts are coming from and again, if they're ours, and I really like, I like those eight C's, I like, yeah, as you said, just as you were thinking, like I feel pissed off and I'm anxious and I'm upset, and then the compassion and the clarity of why and it fits in my macros and different things like that I'll talk about with clients are like it's, it's a cookie, it's it's just carbs, it's fuel for our bodies.

Speaker 2:

Those are different ways that I walk them through, feeling that confidence and feeling that clarity of it's okay that you went out with your friends and had a couple more carbs than you were supposed to have. It's okay because X, y and Z. So those are some of the different things that I kind of walk my clients through as far as health and fitness. But it is, I don't know how you go from taking your manager out of the driver's seat and saying like excuse me, sorry, can you just go back to your place? Yeah, maybe just walking yourself kind of through that. You need to just go back to your place. Yeah, maybe just walking yourself kind of through that.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, absolutely For sure. So the thing that I love about internal family systems is it functions on this idea of the fact like there's no bad parts. So your manager is not bad, it's just scared. So if you think of like honestly, think of like a little kid who's scared and feels out of control and doesn't know what to do, if you provide some compassion, so what we'll walk through in therapy is like okay, your manager is screaming at you about eating a cookie. What does it need? Ask it. It might feel silly, but we'll have a little dialogue. Ask your manager what does it need? Well, it needs to feel in control. Okay, well, how can it feel in control? I guess I could track my macros. Cool, that's way better of a way to utilize your manager in a healthy way. That's not criticizing you.

Speaker 3:

So your core self is in the driver's seat saying Okay, manager, here's the job I need you to do today. I need you to Because managers are very organized. I picture a version of me standing with a clipboard and keeping everything in line very tight. So you have to give those different parts of you confidence that you, as your true self, is capable of handling whatever life throws at you. And so, in the world of fitness, capable of handling whatever life throws at you. And so, in the world of fitness, it is giving those parts confidence that like, yeah, I know what macros I can, you're what my macros are, I know what workouts I need to do and you have this role that can help me accomplish those goals, but I don't need you criticizing me. That makes sense.

Speaker 2:

Yes, absolutely it does. It does make sense. I'm just like kicking the manager like get the fuck out of the car.

Speaker 1:

And you're like no, the manager has to stay.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, we need to give the manager what it needs. So, no, that makes sense, that it it makes sense that we do have obviously different portions of ourselves and like yes, yeah, I think I I have a pretty deep manager within myself because I do like to stand there with a clipboard and be like, nope, I do want to be in control, but I can also have that control with the clarity and with the compassion.

Speaker 2:

I think that's actually how I got the control. I'm kind of walking myself through this, but, yeah, it gives me confidence. It makes me feel even like you have in there curiosity, like how can I fit this into my macros today? Yeah, but also enjoy my life and then, yeah, that makes me feel calm at the end of the day instead of anxious, like I did in the past.

Speaker 2:

So I really like that and it also, I think, moving kind of a little further than we planned here talking about like the mental health of habits and routine. So these kind of tie together and I just had a thought that I wanted to run with and in terms of as far as feeling like confident and clarity. Asking yourself a lot of my clients and myself even you know we want to do these things, we want to hit our steps, we want to drink our water, we want to count our macros and we can't figure out how to do it. Like we know how to do the things and we can't figure out how to have the time, or a self-sabotage creeps in or whatever it is. We can't find the time to make our habits, we can't get this routine down, and I think that's a lack of clarity and it's a lack of feeling calm that almost comes from planning too much into our day or not being as intentional with our time.

Speaker 2:

But in the beginning I think that really you have to be clear on what you're wanting. You have to be clear on what your goals are. You have to be clear on what your core self wants. Do you want to be healthier or do you want to lose weight and be super skinny? I mean, those are completely different goals and as far as health and fitness, so you have to be very clear on what you. Those are completely different goals and as far as health and fitness, so you have to be very clear on what you want, what you actually want, Am I right?

Speaker 2:

I mean if you are trying to set goals on what your mom wants for you or what your best friend wants for you or what you want your kids to think of you literally anything if it's not coming from 10 years ago version of you wanted sure, yeah, absolutely, that's very true, that's very true. That has to change and I think a lot of times we do go back to that or even, yeah, thinking even too far into the future, like what do you, this version of you right now, your core self, what do you want for yourself, and then get very, very clear on that. That helps to be able to have habits and to make this just so routine. For me, anyway, I found that that helps, and for my clients that helps to just take out all the bullshit of everything else and it helps to keep very much in line with what we want.

Speaker 3:

Absolutely. I think you hit it on the head, this concept. Really. It sounds so simple and I think the concept of it is simple. Getting there is not, so let's validate that. But once you get there, as long as you are functioning from this true core, authentic self, with these eight Cs, it's easy. It's so easy Because think about it, what would be hard about maintaining a habit?

Speaker 3:

If you feel compassion for yourself, if you feel curious about it, if you have clarity, all of those things, it just fits the perfect puzzle. The other part that we want to be mindful of outside of managers is they're called firefighters. So firefighters are quite the opposite of managers. If managers are the like, let me get in there, we're getting shit done, you're doing this perfectly. Firefighters are avoiders, so they are like I don't want, I'm going to completely avoid this, I'm going to put out the fire and walk away. So when it comes to habits, I think you can't just stop at identifying your critical manager. You have to look at well, why am I avoiding maintaining this habit? What is going on for me within my firefighter part, or whatever, that is preventing me from functioning with these eight Cs and is forcing me to press snooze on my alarm or say oh, I'll just work out tomorrow, I'll start over Monday, like what are we avoiding, you know?

Speaker 2:

Yes, that's very interesting. Give me a second. No, I'm kidding. No, that, no, you're right. Like that's yes, this shit is not optional, but this shit is very. This shit is like, actually not optional as far as figuring this shit out. None of it's optional, as I love to say, but this shit is the real stuff, because you have all the tools and everything and, yes, you do have to know what you want and what your goals are to be able to then know exactly what to do. But there are still reasons why we don't get our ass out of bed and we don't go to the gym and we don't do those things. So, yeah, that makes sense that we have this other version of ourself. It's like, nah, I'm good, I'm good. Or like last time I got burned and I'm not going to do that again or last time that didn't work and I'm not going to do that again.

Speaker 2:

Or what if I fail this time again? How will that make me feel? So, yeah, I can definitely see where obviously, that self-sabotage and that's very much per person. What do you do you have any, uh, thoughts on self-sabotage? Just, we didn't even talk about this, but as far as kind of in a, you can go as broad as you want, but in a smaller form. If you wanted to touch on self-sabotage as far as, yeah, like, why do we keep snoozing our alarms even though every single night we say I'm going to get up early in the morning?

Speaker 3:

I think it's two things. I think it's either out of protection so, like you said, I don't want to get burned again, I don't want to be a failure or I think we're just not being fully honest with ourselves. I know, when I press snoo news all the time at this point in my life, it's just because I'm being lazy that week. And I think for a lot of people being honest with themselves of like I'm just feeling really lazy right now, I just don't want to, I think then it turns into shame because people have a hard time admitting. Their manager kicks in and is like you can't be lazy, that's terrible. So I think it's that, like I said, protection of something that you got to uncover or you're just not being fully honest with yourself about why you're avoiding these tasks.

Speaker 2:

Yep, I think you're absolutely right, and I had this conversation with a client. This is myself. I did this to myself. I do all this shit myself and I was like dude, why are you not? What is wrong with you? Why are you not getting up early in the morning? Why are you not working out as much as you should?

Speaker 2:

I do this stuff with myself all the time and I had this conversation with a client and she was frustrated with why she couldn't get out of bed, why she couldn't do the thing. And sometimes, yes, I absolutely will help you get through things. But also I struggle with the same shit as your coach and I said honestly, I can't get myself out of bed and it's because I don't want it bad enough. Quite frankly, I'm not as uncomfortable as I have to be right now to get myself to do the shit, and that's just me being. But if I'm not honest about that with myself, I can't fix it, because then I'm just going to sit there and excuse it. It's like, oh, I'm so lazy I can't get out of bed, or I didn't get enough sleep, or the list goes on and on, and obviously we're all full of excuses, myself included. But I literally just told her I'm not uncomfortable enough. I don't want it bad enough, quite frankly, and when I do get to the point where I am pissed off at myself for it and I want it bad enough, I'll fucking do it. But right now I'm just I'm not and that's okay. There's no, like you just said. We don't really. You know, yeah, that's our manager being like no, we can't use that as an excuse. But honestly, that's the truth. I just I don't want to right now. I don't want it bad enough, and that's fine. I'm just sitting with that for a little while, just accepting it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and honestly for me, once I realized that I mean, it's like it's nice out, it's fall. I'm in Michigan, it's going to be really cold here soon. So I just kind of bartered with myself and was like you're still getting your steps in, you're still hitting your macros, you're still going outside getting your steps in. Pretty soon you're not going to be able to do that, and then you will get up and do that, but right now I do want to be outside, I do want to go for more walks, I do want to clean up around the yard, I just want to do things outside, and I think that was part of my problem too. I was just pulling weeds in the flowerbed instead of working out, because it's nice out.

Speaker 2:

So I kind of walked myself through that and just was honest, gave myself clarity. I was calm about it. So I knew that was coming from a place before you taught me all of those Cs. Even then I knew that that was coming from a place that was really me, and I didn't beat myself up about it. It was just like that was coming from a place that was really me and it was. I didn't beat myself up about it. It was just like it is what it is. So is that good advice, though?

Speaker 3:

Okay, I was just going to say I absolutely love this whole example of what you said, because and you just said the first thing I was going to say was you're one being brutally honest with yourself, and I think the reason people are afraid to be brutally honest with themselves is because they likely have a manager in the driver's seat who's going to criticize that. So if you're brutally honest with yourself but you're coming from a place of those eight C's, you'll be able to say, yeah, it's just not, it right now, I'm just not, I don't want it bad enough, and you can have compassion and clarity and all of those things, confidence in your decisions. But if you're being brutally honest with yourself from a place unrightfully so being in the driver's seat, then there's shame and criticism and all that. But to full circle this, what I really loved about what you said was this isn't using our core self as an excuse to just La-di-da what you said of you get to a point of getting pissed off enough to make it happen.

Speaker 3:

That is a healthy way to use your manager that's your manager in the passenger seat saying, alright, christy, it's been two weeks, it's time to go, very true, and so that is how we can have a healthy relationship with all these parts of like. It's just not it right now. I'm going to be honest with myself about that and barter with myself and if I'm not going to work out, I'm still going to be active. I'm going to hit my macros whatever, and then, when it's time for that more stern we got to get shit done part to come in. You're doing that from a healthier place and your core self can be like yep, you're right, thank you, let's do it now.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, that does make sense. I'm glad I did it right. It does make sense. That did make my manager happy to like, okay, we are still doing things and checking boxes and not I do, because I do always still want to obviously lead health first and I do want to be active and I'm not just going to like, quite frankly, I'm not just going to lay around and just be lazy for the sake of doing that. So it did make my manager side happy as well. But, yeah, no, I love that. That's perfect and I think that'll be really helpful for my listeners as well.

Speaker 2:

Just to know that, yeah, being brutally honest, and if it's coming from a place of, yeah, I'm struggling mentally right now or I honestly don't have the time you know, kids are busy or if you honestly just don't have the time and energy, that's fine. Get more steps in. That's fine. Get more steps in. Maybe cut back a little bit on, you know, your processed foods, your snacking, like there are other ways that we can go about health and fitness, but for me it doesn't. It's not coming from a place of I want to shrink in it, it's not coming from a negative place, and I think that exactly as well, because it's just I just wanted to be the best version of myself in right now. I don't want that doesn't come with working out.

Speaker 1:

Exactly, I know that sounds weird.

Speaker 3:

No, it makes sense, though, because it's. Again, we go back to what we talked about last week of is it realistic and helpful? Is it realistic for me to force myself to do something that I don't want to do? No, because I'm not going to. Then here's our topic of habits and routine. That's not going to maintain a habit or routine. Is it helpful? No, because then I'm going to resent working out, I'm going to be miserable and I'm not going to meet my goals in the long run. So it's better to. With your topic from a few weeks ago of take time off If you need to take a break, take a break. Don't hold yourself back from that, because then in the long run, you're going to have a longer break that you're going to feel ashamed about. Yeah, taking a much needed one now.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, no, I agree that it's totally true, Because if I were to just push and push and push and push, then I'm not enjoying my workouts, then I'm not enjoying my journey. There's a reason right now that my body is just like I'm not feeling it. Even when I worked out yesterday, actually, I'm like I can't even lift heavy. I'm just not eating enough right now because I'm not working out enough. Things just aren't aligning and that's totally fine.

Speaker 2:

I don't really dive into it myself anymore that deeply. I'm just trying to, for the sake of everyone listening, because I know it's helpful, Because, yeah, I myself give myself weeks of little breaks of like I'm just I don't want this right now, I don't want to lift heavy right now, and that's okay. That feeling will absolutely come back. I just have to be honest with myself of why and give myself some grace and, yeah, everything's fine. We don't have to push and push and push and I think that's also just part of listening to our bodies and I really obviously preach that with my clients all the time. Just because your friend is going to the gym every single day and running and all the things, that doesn't mean you have to. If that's not what you want to do, Okay, I want to move into the exercise portion of I guess. Just how for me, definitely so. I can absolutely give some experience on this, but how specifically exercising? We are going to talk about weightlifting and boxing.

Speaker 2:

I remember doing kickboxing and I freaking loved it how its effect on mental health and I've had episodes on this before as well, and I know you can talk a little bit about trauma and stuff like that and how things are related. Quickly for myself and I've had podcasts on this before for myself working out physically, going from following along with a video as far as Beachbody World again following along with a video doing cardio, not looking the way that I wanted to look, not fueling myself for those workouts it honestly just didn't do anything for me. I was also holding on to traumas and feelings and so I developed autoimmune issues at that time. So having autoimmune issues and cramming on cardio that my body did not fucking need, quite frankly, was a recipe for disaster.

Speaker 2:

Once I started weightlifting and doing it from a place of loving my body, growing muscle to protect my body, to protect my organs, to protect my bones, it really helped me to be able to obviously be stronger physically and love the way that I felt, knowing my way around a gym, knowing that I could pick up some weight and squat it. Just it helps with confidence, it helps with all of that. So I know for me, mental health and physical health is absolutely 100% tied together. But let's talk a little bit about what you tell your clients too. Yeah, as far as just weightlifting, boxing, getting all that anger out, those types of things- yeah, so this is the one section of the gym is my therapy.

Speaker 3:

That I think is true Because, yes, there's research upon research about how, specifically, weightlifting and I threw boxing in there helps with mental health issues, specifically trauma. And of course there's the science of releasing endorphins and the more biological stuff. But I'm talking more about true mental, like what is going on in our brains. And if we look at trauma or just negative life experiences, it doesn't have to be like a true traumatic experience, but things in our life that impact us, those things fuck with us so much because they mess with our five core areas of life, which are safety, trust, power and control, esteem and intimacy. And so the research shows that exercises that leave you feeling more powerful are really correlated with healing trauma. So if you think about it, like if we're focusing mainly on weightlifting, obviously okay. Safety, like if I'm strong, I can keep myself safe, right, not just from like a physical threat in my environment, but let's say I'm helping a friend move and I want to keep my body safe from not like hurting myself, okay. So, yes, that physically helps, but the just the mental cushion of knowing I can keep myself safe, like huge right. Yes, trust. You can trust yourself to take care of yourself. You can trust yourself to be strong.

Speaker 3:

Power and control is one of the biggest areas impacted by trauma, because we get into this rut of like I have no power, I'm powerless and I have no control on the things that are happening to me. But if you think about the movements just of weightlifting, if you're doing a deadlift, how much control you have to have in your body to do that exercise correctly. You have control coming from that. You obviously have power because you feel powerful. Esteem, your confidence builds and then intimacy, of course. If you're confident, your relationships are going to naturally get better as a whole.

Speaker 3:

So I think what I love recommending for clients who have experienced trauma or impactful life experiences is go to the gym and pick up some weights or go to a boxing class, not because you want to Well, obviously you want to be healthy, but the intention of you want to be healthy, but the intention of well, I want to feel like a badass, I want to feel strong, and it will, of course, help you reach your fitness goals, but the research shows that it will also help you heal from trauma too. So I just think that's so cool and in a time of fitness where we're really emphasizing, don't just go because you want to look a certain way, have your physical goals, but you talk also about like having your why outside of that. Like have your why, be like, I want to look like a badass, I want to feel strong and confident and all of that just kind of naturally comes with it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I love that. I think that even for myself. Yeah, I mean, I can vouch for the fact that that is absolutely true. And it's funny, yesterday I was doing some my workout was kind of trash yesterday, but I was. I had a 50 pound dumbbell on the floor to do some glute, something or other and I bent over and picked it up with such ease and grace and I realized it's only 50 pounds, like for me that's not super heavy, but also it's pretty heavy and I just thought it was going to be heavier.

Speaker 2:

Quite honestly, I picked it it up and I was like I just felt really proud, and then I also thought like, okay, bitch, you're not going to throw your back out when you bend over and pick up a pen or something either. It was just like I love the relation that some gym exercises have into just real life and that's, yeah, a corny little. But honestly, I picked it up and I was like, yeah, this is so freaking cool, like I could just feel all my muscles contract.

Speaker 2:

But you're right, that is the control, that is the power, that is the self-esteem. And I think you're right just doing like I've never. God, I've been through a lot of workouts that were just, you know, like videos or just cardio, and at the end of it you feel like you just got your ass kicked, but in a bad for what was just like, oh my God, yes, like that. That didn't do anything for me. But when you get done with a boxing workout, crossfit workout, um, I even um a taekwondo I know people are kind of doing like I mean, you just feel like lifting super heavyweights. You just feel this sense of like okay, I'm, I did that. It's just like, yeah, it is like, okay, I did that, I am it. Yeah, yeah, it is like such a I have never regretted doing that for sure Right, just the feeling that comes along with that, my favorite experience as a woman.

Speaker 3:

That's very broad, but I love when the other day my parents brought over this nightstand it's pure wood, really heavy, whatever, and I wanted to move it upstairs and my husband was like cutting the grass in the yard or whatever. I was like you know what, I'm going to move myself. And he comes in. He's like all right, I'm ready to help you move it. I'm like I already did it. He's like what Is it heavy? I'm like, yeah, I got it. Like that's the best feeling. I can move it without hurting myself. I can move it without feeling like I'm dying, like I am strong enough to do this, and the mental correlation between like I am strong enough to pick up this heavy weight and I'm strong enough to handle what life throws at me. Like oh, I got sugars, that's so cool?

Speaker 2:

Yes, it is cool, and that is the part like, like you said, that's the part of exercise. The gym is my therapy. Yeah, exactly, but your intention does matter and I like that you said that as well, because intention matters, I mean honestly, across the board, for everything. But a lot of people, if you are not liking, even when people had this conversation yesterday, someone was like I don't know how to get back into tracking macros and I'm like let's get into it with your intention being to literally just track your food and see what you ate for the day we're not judging it on anything.

Speaker 2:

We're not even aiming for any targets. What's your intention is to just kind of get to enjoy it again, and it's just information. When you go to the gym to be stronger, when you go to the gym to release anger or whatever it is, don't go throw some shit around and pick up heavy shit, like that really does matter, and then your intention can change and your intention can fall. But I think that's absolutely makes a huge difference when I'm telling my clients, like you're going to the gym to just be a badass today and you can do whatever you want once you get there, I don't care, but just go in there and do it for you. So I really love that. And also, yeah, I think just that quality of life piece and of course, you know, and to like that just kind of made me think of like taking up space.

Speaker 2:

As women, you know, we do not to get all into that, but how we're taught to be small and shrink and be little and physically little and mentally little and all the things. But for me, the gym has really helped me to see that I don't have to be skinny, I can take up space. I can take up space in the gym. I can take up space in life. It's okay to have muscle, it's okay to lift weights and even if you feel a little bulky, who the fuck cares? Buy a bigger shirt.

Speaker 2:

I mean, I know we just talked about that in the last episode. That's hard when you're not in a place to understand that. But honestly, for the sake of what? Lifting weights and thinking of health and fitness in a positive way and yes, this came with a lot of self-critique and figuring myself out and a lot of healing Honestly, it's taught me to believe that I'm okay, I'm worthy of whatever size. I don't care what size my jeans are, it doesn't define me, I want it to fit size. I don't care what size my jeans are, I don't, it doesn't define me, I want it to fit me. I want to feel good about what I look like. And then when people comment on my body, I don't give a fuck what they say about my body. I literally don't care. So it all just kind of comes full circle and all of these things absolutely tie together, as we already do mental and physical health, but I think that kind of wraps it up, and I have loved every second of this conversation.

Speaker 3:

I'm kind of sad that it's over.

Speaker 2:

I know it's like great, so good, but thank you so much for coming on the podcast. I really appreciate it. Of course, I am going to put all of your information I know I've talked about it here as well, but I will put it in the show notes and find, tell people where they can reach you and of course, I will keep communicating and maybe you'll be back. Who knows you just let me know. Thank you so much. Thank you, and I will talk to you guys next week.

Speaker 1:

I will talk to you guys next week. Thanks for listening to today's show. Go ahead and leave a rating and a review and, of course, follow the podcast so you don't miss out on any future episodes. And I would love it so much if you came to connect with me over on Instagram at Christy Castillo Fit. I will see you next time.