The Unf*ck Your Fitness Podcast

190. Building Strength: Lifting Heavy in a Way That Works for YOU

• Kristy Castillo

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If you’ve ever found yourself wondering how much weight you should be lifting, or comparing your numbers to someone else’s, you’re NOT alone.


This is something I get asked about pretty often! Honestly…the obsession with numbers can completely derail the whole point of your workout.


Here’s the truth: lifting heavy is relative. There’s no magic number that determines whether you’re doing it “right.” What matters is your EFFORT! 


Lifting heavy means lifting a weight that challenges you - based on your strength, experience, and energy level that day. It’s about showing up with intensity, and moving with intention!


Progressive overload is a helpful concept, but…it’s also kind of gotten out of hand. You don’t always need to be adding weight to your lifts every.single.week. Progress looks sooo different for everyone!


This episode is your permission slip to let go of the noise, stop overthinking it, and just start with what actually works for YOU on your fitness journey!!


In this episode, we cover:

  • Why it’s time to stop obsessing over the numbers & start focusing on showing up with intention
  • What “lifting heavy” really means + why consistent muscle tension is the goal
  • The power of experimenting and adjusting as you go
  • How embracing imperfection can lead to more sustainable strength gains


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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Un-Fuck-Your-Fitness Podcast. I am your host, Christy Castillo, and I'm here to give you real talk and cut the BS so you can actually enjoy building a body you love. I'm a personal trainer obsessed with giving you simple action steps to take you from feeling stuck to feeling sexy. Let's go.

Speaker 2:

Hey guys, what's up? Welcome to today's episode. I am still getting used to recording in my new office space, my new studio space. It's just weird being in here and like having the whole room to myself and recording, so it's been fun. For those of you that I guess didn't already know, I used to record from home and or my parents' house and with my kids being home for the summer and stuff. I thought it's really time for me to get my own space. So I'm here trying to make it cute, trying to make it mine, trying to get used to just recording in a different space. And it's so funny. I record, looking at myself. There's video that goes along with this. When I have a cute background, I will post videos. Or maybe just tell me we don't care about your cute background, christy, we want to just see you talk and maybe I'll just post them. But we'll see, we'll see. I'm still in my head about it, but I need to get over it. Anyway, I just like when I get on video, it's like oh yeah, I have a different background, it's kind of fun. So, anyways, total sidebar. But we're growing, we're changing, things are moving and grooving here, getting a little unfuck your fitness podcast studio and office space and, yeah, pretty cool Fun things are happening. I digress.

Speaker 2:

Let's move on to the topic of the day, because this is something that I get questioned about a lot or questions about both, I guess I should say questioned on my own lifting how much am I lifting? Why am I lifting that much? Is that my max? Is that my one rep max? Is that my? All these types of things and I know I don't do things like everyone else, so I never know kind of. I just do things in my own way. I do things the way that I know works. I do things the way that I've not only been trained but I've trained myself and yeah, I just know work and I know that it works for myself and it works for my clients, and so I get a lot of questions about it. As far as for other people, you know, when I work with you, will you tell me how much I'm supposed to lift? Will you you know kind of program, the weights and all of that for me?

Speaker 2:

And the question is no, I can't exactly tell you how much to lift each day or if you're progressively overloading things like that. There's not a specific number that you should increase by every week in your workouts, or even every two weeks, or even day to day, it could look different. So I want to talk about lifting heavy because it's relative. It's not about what's on someone else's terms or what is on someone else's Instagram or what someone else is doing or what someone else is saying. It's really hard because, right, you're seeing people talk about on social media like progressive overload, and you should maybe increase every single week, increase your weight and decrease your reps, or maybe you should maintain it, for you know, maybe lift the same amount of weight with the same amount of reps for two weeks and then the next two weeks you should change.

Speaker 2:

There's so many different ways to do everything in the fitness space, which makes it become complicated and confusing, and that sucks, because I'm over here trying to unfuck your fitness for you and I have all of this resistance coming from different places, and what it looks like is this comes down to you. Lifting heavy is relative. It's about effort. It's not about ego. It's about you, it's not about me. It's about what you have access to. It's about how you feel that day. So it looks different for everyone. There is a right and wrong, but there's also not a right and wrong, because there's a lot of ways that I see people saying online that you should progressive overload or you should lift or the rep ranges and, quite frankly, I've built my body doing it a different way. So for me to see something on social media saying this is the right way, this is the only way that you're going to get the body you want, or the only way to build muscle, or the right way to build muscle, and I'm over here thinking I've built muscle doing something completely different. That's why it's relative. That's why this has to be about defining your own journey. What does that look like for you? And then, what does this feel like for you and does that align? You will then start to see things on social media and say that doesn't really apply to me because I know that I've done it a different way, or Christy's saying this way.

Speaker 2:

So this episode I want it to be your permission slip to stop obsessing over numbers and just focus on showing up with intention and intensity. So what does lifting heavy even mean? It literally means lifting a weight that challenges you. I talked a little while back on a different episode about RPE and the rate of perception, and that's really important because you have to know if it's challenging enough for you, and only you know that. Okay, your friend that goes to the gym with you doesn't know that your gym crush, some Joe Schmo off the street who's telling you to lift heavier or maybe to lift lighter because your form sucks, whatever? Not the Instagram influencer, not the version that used to lift weight in college, not your husband, not your son going with you, not your wife and no one. Okay, no one knows how you're feeling in your body that day, what amount of fuel you've had or not had, what your day is looking like. Are you stressed, are you tired? What's going on? Right, heavy is relative to your strength and your experience and your energy that day. I want you to remember that, okay, heavy is relative to your strength, your experience and your energy that particular day.

Speaker 2:

If last week you PR'd on your squats and you're like man, I lifted so heavy and you think, right, maybe I'll maintain that and again I'll be able to lift that weight the next week, and you get to the gym or you go to your workout space and you try to lift that same weight and you are just, and it feels so heavy. You're like wait, how did I do three reps of this last week for my PR? I felt like a freaking rock star. And this week I picked up the same weight and I feel like I can't even lift it. This is so weird, right? That happens to me all the time. You don't have to lift the same weight to be able to see change. You don't have to lift the same weight that you PR. You don't even have to lift close On that particular day.

Speaker 2:

Take into account your strength, your experience and your energy. So, are you feeling strong? Because if you're not feeling strong, it could be because you didn't sleep well. It could be because you didn't eat enough to fuel your body that day. Your experience are you going after work and you had a really shitty, stressful workday? Did you just have a fight with your friend or your spouse or your children and you're feeling kind of shitty? Right? Energy are you drained mentally, physically, whatever? All of that plays into it? You can't just put all of that aside. Yeah, you can walk into the gym and say, okay, I don't care what happened today, I'm going to focus on myself for 45 minutes. Mentally, you're like locked in and ready to go, but your body is like fuck you, you didn't sleep well, you didn't feed me enough, you're fighting with people, you're stressed out, I don't have it in me today, right? So if your 15 pound dumbbells have you shaking on rep 10 or rep six, that's heavy, that's heavy.

Speaker 2:

And just because you see the person next to you lifting more doesn't mean that what you are doing is not heavy. So you don't again. You don't have to PR, you don't have to calculate one rep maxes or max out, ever even to make progress. You don't have to be on a specific program that's like it's max out day or it's one rep max day, like. You don't have to figure that out, right?

Speaker 2:

The goal is to challenge your muscles, not to stroke your ego. A lot of people are like oh, we're good in here and smelling salts and doing all the things to like lift heavy and look cool for the bros or the girls or whatever. Literally. No, that's not going to matter, because, one, you're going to hurt yourself. Two, you're going to be comparing and none of that matters. If you are challenging your muscles at a decent rep range, not ego lifting, then you're good. Okay, it's constant tension, it's consistent tension is what matters Consistently picking up a weight that challenges you, the consistent tension on your muscles. It doesn't matter what weight you have in your hand or on your back to squat or on you know rect front ways to do a front squat. It doesn't matter what weight you pick up, as long as it is challenging.

Speaker 2:

There are some days where I'm curling 20s for bicep curls. Yesterday I think I was curling 12s and I cried a little bit because yesterday I think I was curling 12s and I cried a little bit because of it, but not because of that, just because, like, my heart rate was elevated and I just didn't feel. I felt like shit and I couldn't lift as heavy as I quote, unquote I think I should be lifting, but my body yesterday, because of the things I told you my energy that I had, my experience I was having stressed out it wasn't there. So I lifted as heavy as I could that day and that's all that matters. So I want you to stop overthinking it and I want you to just start on that last rep.

Speaker 2:

Are you like this is really freaking hard to do? Not because you're doing like three exercises back to back to back and you're out of breath, right, and you're just like can't catch my breath because I'm trying to move so fast through this cardio circuit. That's not what I mean. Are you lifting up a weight to curl it and by the end of that, somewhere between six and 10 reps, you are tired from lifting that weight? Great, okay, you're doing it right. So if you're sweating a little bit, if your arms are shaking, if your legs are shaking, if you're struggling, if you're like I can't get this last rep up, holy shit, you're gritting your teeth and you're sweating and you're making that ugly workout face, perfect, you're doing it right. Even if it's less than the week before, even if you haven't progressed in weight for two months sometimes it happens right.

Speaker 2:

You also don't need fancy programming or perfect form to get stronger. You need to get under some more weight and move it. Okay, the same workouts are fine, the same exercises are fine, the same movements are fine. I guess I want to say, like, focus less on tracking every variable and focus less on, you know, progressively overloading every single week. In the perfection of that, like I said, I get a lot of questions like how often should I be progressively overloading One number that I do like, if you do like numbers in that category every two weeks, try to progressively overload, right.

Speaker 2:

So how we're doing things right now in Fit Club and what I think what I think I think works in this space doing the same workouts week after week after week for four to five weeks, having four to five workouts programmed for those four to five weeks, and you're doing them consistently, obviously back to back to back. You're not changing up workouts, you're doing the same thing. It's kind of boring, it is what it is. Stick with me. So I think because I know that it works for my body and my clients is if you start a little bit lighter on week one because you don't know the movements, maybe you're like I don't know how this is exactly going to feel. So you choose a weight that is safer. So you're like I know I can lift this for 10 reps, I know I can lift this for eight reps and if I can't I'll drop down and if I can and if it's too easy, I'll go up right and wait for the next set, because usually there's three sets. So if you pick a lighter weight than you think or a safe weight, you're like I know I can move this weight for this movement, it's fine.

Speaker 2:

The next week you have a choice to stick with that If you're like, oh, that was actually a really good weight, I think I'm going to stick with that, perfect. Or if you're like last week was pretty easy, you know, you logged it, so you know exactly what weight you lifted and how you felt, please take notes on your workouts. It's good to know you think you'll remember from week to week and you won't, so trust me on that. But you look back and you're like, yeah, oh, that was a tough workout. I think I'm just going to stick with that this week and move that weight again Perfect. Or maybe, you know, tuesday comes and you look back and you're like, okay, I've done the same weight for the last two weeks, so this week I'm going to increase it by.

Speaker 2:

Maybe you were lifting 10. So maybe you increase it to 12. Or maybe you're super feeling super great and you increase it to 15. And maybe that's going really, really well. Maybe you can't. Let's say, your goal was eight to 10 reps and maybe you pick up the 15. You're like, oh God, I get to six and I'm like feeling like I can't lift anymore. Right, go ahead and do the six and then the next set. You can either pick up the same weight and do six again, or you can pick up maybe the 12, something in between and go ahead and do your eight to 10 reps.

Speaker 2:

There's nothing wrong with experimenting, is what I'm trying to say. It doesn't matter if from week to week the goal isn't the same. If you're like I think I'm going to increase every single week, I'm going to add more weight on. Probably not, because if you started curling eight pound weights for a bicep curl and you increase the next week to 10 and the next week to 12, and the next week to 15, the next week to 7. I mean, what do you mean? At the end of the year you'd be curling 100-pound weights like that, the 100-pound dumbbells. That doesn't even make sense.

Speaker 2:

There has to be a limit to progressive overload. You have to change up the reps, you have to do some pauses, you have to do some static holds, you have to do some isometric work. There's so many different ways to make it to where you can experience progressive overload and make it heavy that you don't have to be perfect. So all of that to say I just want to make sure that you know it doesn't have to be an exact way. Yes, if you're training for a competition or something like that, perhaps it would have to be, but there are still going to be limiting factors. So I don't believe there is any case where it can just be like you have to pick that up. I don't believe there's any case where it can just be like you have to pick that up. People you see online all the time attempted my PR today and I failed. It's fine, it happens. There are so many more things that go into it.

Speaker 2:

So progress looks like moving the same weight or more weight for more reps. So if you're like I can't really pick up a heavier weight or I don't have access to heavier weight, do it for more reps. It also looks like lifting more weight with good form. That's progress, but it doesn't matter how often you do that, as long as it's heavy. Progress also looks like better tempo, more control, better form. Picking up the same weight and improving your form is fine. Trying to get a little deeper and do a squat totally fine. Improving your form is fine. Trying to get a little deeper and do a squat totally fine. Less rest between sets If you're recovering faster after lifting a certain exercise a certain body part, muscle group, that's good too.

Speaker 2:

That means you are getting used to it and your body is getting stronger and it also progress looks like feeling more confident in your body and in the gym and in your workouts. If you're like, oh, I lifted up that weight and I couldn't do it, but this lighter one is really freaking hard, and that's okay, it's fine as long as the weight is challenging you that particular day. It's progressive overload because you are progressively overloading your body based on what it can do that day. Okay. So lifting heavy isn't just about your muscle, it's about your mindset. And you have to realize every single workout won't be great. Some of them will suck, sometimes most of them will suck, and it's okay. It's okay All the time I get into my workout and I'm like I can't lift as heavy as I want.

Speaker 2:

I can't progressive overload right now, and that's okay. Some of that is because of my autoimmune issues, some of that is because of lack of sleep or, you know, it's too hot. Whatever it is, I don't care. As long as I'm challenging my body, I will continue to see results. And for a long time I thought progressive overload was not bullshit, because I know that it obviously is a real thing, but I thought the rules behind progressive overload are getting out of control because so many people are now focused on always lifting heavier, always lifting heavier, and I lived in maintenance for years and lifted about the same amount of weight for years and transformed my body completely. So I know that it can be done and we need to just kind of get away from the rules.

Speaker 2:

So I hope this episode was helpful. I hope it gives you again that permission slip, that feeling of just like I don't have to do this perfectly. If it's heavy for me this day but it's lighter than I lifted last week, who the fuck cares? Pick it up and do it anyways, because those are the times. Maybe you show up at the gym and say I suck, I can't do this, I can't progressive overload, I'm never going to see results, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and all that is bullshit and it's not true. So let's get back to the basics. Let's get back to the basics. Let's get back to listening to ourselves and if the weight is heavy lifted, it's good enough. There's so many rules in health and fitness that really just don't need to be there. So you know if you're lifting heavy enough and you'll see changes and that's it. That's all that matters. So I hope that was really helpful. I'll talk to you in the next episode.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for listening to today's show. Go ahead and leave a rating and a review and, of course, follow the podcast so you don't miss out on any future episodes. And I would love it so much if you came to connect with me over on Instagram at Christy Castillo Fit. I will see you next time.