The Unf*ck Your Fitness Podcast

196. Letting Go of the Old Clothes and Embracing the New YOU on Your Fitness Journey

• Kristy Castillo

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Something that is NOT talked about enough is the emotional rollercoaster that comes with cleaning out your closet, because…it’s never *just* about the clothes.


I recently tried on some of my favorite shorts that I’ve had for years, and they just fit…differently. I started spiraling, and my thoughts were going everywhere from “Should I keep them?”, to “Should I try to shrink myself back into them?!”


Talk about a total mindf*ck moment!!


The truth is, our bodies change, even when we’re getting healthier. We don’t always talk about how positive progress can feel weird, or uncomfortable. It’s hard, and super emotional!


It’s okay to outgrow old clothes AND old versions of yourself. Be thankful for the person you used to be and how they shaped who you are now…and then say goodbye. 


Remember - self-love and fitness go FAR beyond the numbers or the fit of your clothes. They’re about growing into your happiest and healthiest self, inside and out!


In this episode, we cover:

  • Embracing my new curves as I outgrow old clothes (and old versions of me)
  • The emotional rollercoaster of body changes and clothes no longer fitting
  • Staying intentional and rooted in YOUR goals during body recomp
  • Welcoming the new version of you, while honoring the one you’re leaving behind


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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Un-Fuck-Your-Fitness Podcast. I am your host, Christy Castillo, and I'm here to give you real talk and cut the BS so you can actually enjoy building a body you love.

Speaker 2:

I'm going to be talking about something today that might be it kind of seems a little silly, honestly, to talk about, but I think it needs to be talked about. I want to talk about it, so let's dive in. I'm going to be talking about getting rid of clothes that no longer fit and the emotions that come along with that. So I think it just seems a little silly, I think, to just bring up, but this is what happened. Over the weekend I purchased a new pair of shorts. I have three pair of jean shorts to my name. They are well. Now I have three pair of jean shorts to my name because I had to get rid of some over this last weekend. So now I have three jean shorts to my name. They are all Abercrombie. They're all the Curve Love, size 4, 27 inch, whatever. I don't even know how those sizes are anymore and it's not the size or anything that like matters, but just kind of wanted to be transparent with you. But they're all there.

Speaker 2:

This particular style comes in three colors regular jean, light jean and black. I had the regular jean color and the black pair last year and this year. Those are the only two pair of shorts that fit me and why are we into July and I'm just now kind of trying on shorts? I don't know. But what happened was over the weekend, I had these two pair of jean shorts that I have just been wearing on repeat, and that's fine, because a lot of times I just wear comfy shorts or, you know, workout shorts, my little spandex shorts, so it's not a big deal Over the weekend. I well, last week I purchased the light, the very light jean color in these shorts. They were on sale and I thought, why not? I could have another pair. These fit me really great. I freaking love the style they fit me so well. Never in my life did I think I would be able to, or have to or need to purchase something called Curvy, curve, because I didn't have a curve to my name for the majority of my life. But I'm now wearing Curve Love, which I actually love. I love being curvy, I love creating these curves. I need to be curvier, in my opinion, and that's kind of a goal of mine. But anyway, I bought these jeans and I thought, okay, I'm going to try on my other jean shorts that I have. I had three additional pair that are from like year.

Speaker 2:

I've had these jean shorts for years. I tried them on and they fit as in. They buttoned and zipped and fit my body literally. But I probably could have wore them in public. I could have worn them in public, but they were super tight.

Speaker 2:

I didn't really feel like they were me anymore. I didn't feel like they quote they quote unquote fit the version of me that I am now and maybe they're just not as much in style. I think they're just super tight in like skinny jeans, tighter jeans, tighter shorts. They're not so much the style right now. Not saying that you can't wear them. I would personally wear anything that I felt comfortable in and I don't care if it's in style. But anyway, I put these jean shorts on and I thought, oh no, oh no, I don't think these fit my current body. I don't also think they fit my current style. I don't think I'll wear them. I haven't worn them yet this year and this summer and it's July, so I don't think I'm going to wear them.

Speaker 2:

So then my next question was do I take them to the consignment shop? Do I just put them in one of our tubs that I put our summer clothes in and just keep them for next year, just in case? Also, oh no, do I need to be smaller Because the reason they don't fit is because I'm a little bigger. I have more muscle on my body, have a little more weight on my body, I'm bigger. I'm a little bigger. I have more muscle on my body. I have a little more weight on my body, I'm bigger, I'm thicker, whatever you want to call it. I had these thoughts. What do I do with these? Do I save them? Do I keep them? Do I donate them? Do I consign them?

Speaker 2:

Then these intrusive negative thoughts came in of or do I want to look the way that I look anymore? Or do I change my body to fit into these jean shorts? Because I love them? You know those shorts that you have, or the item of clothing that you have. That's like the old trusty right. You're just like oh, I feel so good in these, I look so good in these. I'm going to wear these everywhere. I have worn these shorts everywhere for the last few years Everywhere. Love them, so comfortable. I was so proud of them when I had them. I've looked so good in them before.

Speaker 2:

So I had this thought of do I shrink my body? Do I actually want to be big, do I want to build muscle, do I want to be strong? And then I go down this rabbit hole, right? So I say this because those of you who are wanting to body recomp, wanting to be stronger, wanting to look strong, toned, wanting to look muscular, building muscle, anything that comes along with that, this is going to happen to you, and it's not really the same in the sense of you know, if you have outgrown your clothes, let's say, let's say your clothes are now too tight because you accidentally gained weight, right, or you didn't put on muscle, you, just you. Now you put on 30 pounds or something, and you're like oh, I didn't mean to do that.

Speaker 2:

Perimenopause, menopause, age, life, whatever happens, life situation, a tragedy like health, whatever. And you're like, okay, christy, at least you put on these, put on this weight on purpose, right, I'm over here just like, accidentally put on this weight and I don't fit into my clothes anymore. I kind of, though, want to talk about this mindset, where it can go either way. So, if you're on the contrary, if you are losing weight and you no longer fit in your bigger clothes, that's kind of there's still a mindfuck there, because you're still like should I keep it? What if I gain my weight back? What if I can't sustain this? So I think there are what I want to talk about, I guess, in this episode, just quickly, just to be authentic and transparent, and not just to be relatable, but, yeah, to be relatable to you, because these things happen to me too.

Speaker 2:

When I outgrow something clothes, a mindset, whatever it is there is kind of this sounds silly a grieving process that goes along with getting rid of clothes that used to fit me or that I have an emotional connection with because I wore them to X amount or X event. Or I just felt really really good. I felt proud of my legs when I would wear this one pair of shorts. That was super tight, honestly, but I felt really proud of my legs in these shorts and I still would if I wore them. They're just not me anymore, and that's another thing. I think that happens with just kind of clothes in general. You're putting on an outfit and you're like, oh man, this isn't really in style anymore, it doesn't fit me right, or just it's not. I don't really love it anymore, but I had so many good times in it, or I just don't want to get rid of it, or what if it comes back in style, or what if I fit in again, or you know all these things and I think it's just it's a lot to kind of deal with.

Speaker 2:

But what I want to talk about a little bit is my process of. I still have the shorts. By the way, I'm not sure what to do with them. For one, the consignment shop that I take clothes to is only going to be taking shorts you know summer clothes through July. So I just have a couple weeks to even get them there and kind of get them into the hands of someone would actually use and love them, right. So might as well just kind of keep them at this point, but I'm not gonna wear them. I know I'm not gonna wear them because I haven't reached for them once this year. I'm just kind of in a different phase of life. So that's what I want to focus on is the transparency of this.

Speaker 2:

Was I put on these shorts and I thought, okay, they still fit, but they're not me. But they're not me. I don't look great in them, I don't feel great in them. I don't really want to wear them anywhere in public anyway. But should I shrink my body? You know all these things.

Speaker 2:

I had to kind of sit with myself for a second and say okay, if you get rid of these shorts, it's fine, or you could become a smaller version of yourself, and that's fine too. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as you choose it for yourself. So I had to kind of think, like when I fit into these shorts, I felt good about myself. I felt strong, I felt sexy, I felt like a badass, I felt freaking good, I looked freaking good in them. Okay, but I don't want them anymore. Like I think I'm just kind of moving on.

Speaker 2:

But there's that negative connotation too of like, am I too big? Am I too muscular? Is this really what I want? Right? And I think kind of just preparing you, because I'm how many years into this journey and this is still happening to me of like certain things don't fit. This happens with shirts too.

Speaker 2:

I put on a t-shirt last night to go for a walk, walk, slash, run, and it was really tight on my shoulders and my arms, because my arms are getting bigger, I'm building my shoulders, I want bigger shoulders. But then, as soon as I put on this shirt the shirt that fit tighter I instantly thought am I too big? Am I building too much muscle? Is this really what I want? I started questioning myself. This is why it's super important to be very intentional with what you want, because when I fit into these shorts and was a smaller version of myself, yes, I loved myself. I looked great, but, for whatever reason, I wanted more muscle. I wanted to look differently, I wanted to lift more, I wanted to eat more. I wanted all these things. So if I were to shrink myself back down to this version that fit into these shorts and wanted to wear them again, would I be happy there? No, because I already wasn't happy there once.

Speaker 2:

So, as you are going through this process of body recomp, you know all these physical things that you wanna call it as far as your fitness journey, maintenance, body recomp, cut deficit, build, bulk, right all these things. It's very physical based, but you are going to have so many mindset shifts and so many mind fucks and so many things along the way that really question you and or make you question yourself. I guess and I want you to be so firm Like, yes, you're going to be jolted for a second, just like I was. I'm like, oh no, am I too big. Is this what I want? Should I be smaller? I want you to be so confident in yourself and have the tools to be able to ask yourself is this what I want? Do I want to be bigger? Do I want to get rid of these shorts? Am I okay with not wearing them and maybe putting them in a bin and putting them aside? Yes, because I love my body right now. I love my workouts right now.

Speaker 2:

I have some health issues going on personally with my heart, my blood pressure and stuff, so I want to focus on health. I want to focus on perimenopause and my metabolism and my energy and my hormones and my heart health and my body. I want to lift more. I want to feel strong. I love sprinting right now. I love running right now. I love my body right now. I love where I'm at mentally right now.

Speaker 2:

So why would I shift gears right A couple months ago? Maybe you're like in the middle of a maintenance phase or you have committed to body recomp and you're like this is what I'm doing now. I'm tracking. Maybe you're on my app doing all the things, all the things right. Don't stray from that. Make a commitment to yourself and be so firm in what you want. Maybe write it down I prefer pen to paper writing it down. You get a feeling with that, more so than just typing it in your notes app or something, but that's not worst case scenario either. Or do a little voice note to yourself what I want to look like is this, what I want to feel like, is this, what I want to be like, is this. This is the version of myself that I want to be. And then also so that when you get to this point, I could say to myself right, like, no, I don't want to be smaller, I'm happy here, this is what I want. I'm confident that I'm good.

Speaker 2:

I also have to kind of do a little goodbye to her, that girl, that woman that fit into those shorts, that was smaller. I loved her. I love her. I thank her. I'm appreciative for her. She served a purpose. You know, she was amazing, she was awesome, she was great. Right, she wanted more for herself, she wanted to become something different, and that's what we're working on now.

Speaker 2:

So, as you're going through this process, thank yourself, love yourself, appreciate yourself, and then also love yourself and encourage yourself and motivate yourself and pep talk yourself into a new version of yourself, because that, my friends, is so freeing, it's confusing, it is a mindfuck, it is a mental game. It's not just calories and walking and workouts and water, right, and quote, unquote all the things. It's so many mental things too. That is the whole purpose of this podcast. Is unfucking that for you, because you can't just have the mental piece without that fitness piece and you can't have the fitness piece without the mental piece. You have to have the entire piece of the puzzle or you have to have the whole puzzle. You have to have all the pieces. I guess is what I'm trying to say. You can't just have a couple, you can't have something missing. You can't experience physical gain and a complete body recomposition without having some questions along the way of like is this what I want? Is this working? Do I even look different? Oh, my God, right, you're gonna have both, and I want you to be so set up for success that when you get there, you're not going to be unshakable, you're going to be shaken. You're gonna question yourself, you're gonna look in the mirror and be like, oh, these shorts used to fit Shit, now what? But I also want you to have the tools to be like okay, remain calm. Where are we at now? We did this on purpose, right? Hopefully we have a plan. We're sticking with the plan.

Speaker 2:

This happens a lot in your build phase too. When you are building muscle, you will a lot of times look in the mirror and be like whoa, getting a little beefy there, right? That's why we do it when we have the opportunity to wear more clothing usually fall, winter. But it's still a mind game of like, if I'm going to put on muscle, I am going to be bigger, and we think, oh, that's fine, I don't mind being bigger until you're a little bit bigger, or until that number on the scale goes up and you're like whoa, not you're a little bit bigger, or until that number on the scale goes up and you're, like whoa, not familiar with that number. Or you associate a higher number with being fat or being bigger or being out of control, right, a part of your life or a time in your life where you weren't completely happy or whatever. You have to reframe it, okay, and so I had to reframe it. I did reframe it.

Speaker 2:

We're all good here, but I just thought, in the middle of that happening, I thought I want to walk through this with my people, because this happened to me 16 years into my journey. It's going to happen to you, and maybe not right now, but hopefully you listen to this and you remember this and you can tell yourself along the way. I did this on purpose. I want this for myself. I have more energy, I have more muscle, I love the way that I look, I have more food, freedom, all those things, and you can just kiss the shorts, kiss the shirts, goodbye, and kiss that old identity or that old part of you or that piece of you that you're questioning. You can just thank it, thank her, thank him and move along and build a new, better version of yourself. So I hope you enjoyed listening to this just a little smidge of something that happened, but I really do like to share these pieces of the reality of this journey with you.

Speaker 2:

I don't think we can unfuck your fitness without having these little real talks, because they matter, because in that moment I could have and I have in the past thought I'm getting too big, I had to buy a bigger pair of shorts, my legs don't fit in these leggings, my legs don't fit in these jeans anymore and I have stopped my progress of body recomp and went into a deficit because of it and shrunk again and I wasn't happy and so I built muscle and then I got nervous and questioned myself and and then I wasn't happy and I did it again. I was stuck in that cycle for a while and I'm finally out of it Like I was happy to just say, okay, maybe we'll hold on to the shorts, but I doubt I'm ever going to be that size again on purpose. Anyway, I was pretty depressed and stressed and anxious when I was that size more recently and just not eating enough probably, and that was by choice and it can be again if I consciously make that decision. But this time I consciously chose to choose bigger and choose better for myself and it feels really good. So I wanted to share that with you.

Speaker 2:

I hope you enjoyed this little blurb of a Friday episode and I really, really, really want to encourage you and I know this is said after, like in the little end credits here of the podcast, but it would actually mean the world to me.

Speaker 2:

We are coming up on some big milestones with the podcast for 1 million downloads and the 200 episode and just some really big, amazing things, and I get the sweetest messages from you guys saying that this podcast is helpful and I appreciate it so much.

Speaker 2:

So if you would pretty please even if you're listening on Spotify, if you could go to Apple Podcasts, find the podcast and leave a sweet review so that other people can go look at it and realize the show could help them, I would be so appreciative.

Speaker 2:

And also just likes and comments and ratings. They really, really help the show and I really want to keep bringing the show to you and so for it to grow would mean the world to me and make that possible. And then on Spotify, if you can rate the show and leave me a comment, I would really really appreciate that too. I know it takes a few minutes out of your day, but I appreciate you so much and, like I said, a lot of big things are happening to the podcast and for the podcast and I want to keep growing and bringing people on and just making it the best that it can be, and I appreciate every single one of you. So if you could take a few minutes out of your day today, I would appreciate it so much. I will talk to you in the next episode.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for listening to today's show. Go ahead and leave a rating and a review and, of course, follow the podcast so you don't miss out on any future episodes. And I would love it so much if you came to connect with me over on Instagram at Christy Castillo Fit. I will see you next time. Bye.